Western Blue Bird
It is spring, when birds join together to produce and care for their offspring. All creatures have a need to be connected to others of their kind.
Acrylic on canvas/ framed/ 20.5” by 24.5”/ $375
Social Isolation – a Crisis of Our Time
Most recently, an elderly acquaintance was alone in a hospital room when his heart stopped beating. There were no friends or family around to hold his hand through his illness nor to mourn the moment of passing. When younger, this man led a vibrant, engaged ilife. He loved to travel, give thought provoking talks, party with friends, and enjoyed interacting with a wide circle of work contacts. By his waning years, however, most close friends were gone and he was left stranded alone. He had no children and his few relatives were either ill or had died years earlier.
Serving as a lay ministry at the Unitarian Church in Portland, made me aware of the large number of people who are socially isolated. About one-third of Americans over 65 are alone with their anxieties, depression, and health issues. The friends and family members they assumed would always be there to help them as they aged, dispersed throughout the country and are unwilling or unable to care for their needs. No one calls or stops by their home to chat. Those without children, peers, or counselors are not able to share the ups and downs of life. Feelings of loneliness often become a trigger, accelerating cognitive decline and premature death.
As a stuendt of human behavior, however, I am aware that social isolation is not exclusively a problem of the elderly, for it increasingly plagues youth and middle aged Americans. Health professions consider it a growing epidemic with severe mental, physical and emotional consequences. Some of their studies show childhood isolation to be the cause of poor health twenty years later.
In the United States, adults become isolated for many reasons. When moving to a new community because of a job opportunity, many people become immersed in their work, not realizing how important it is to reestablish close friendships. In other instances, it is friends or family members who do the moving, leaving the person behind with feelings of abandonment. Drug addiction, mental illness, sexual orientation, abuse and poverty cause some people to turn inward rather than share the embarrassing truth of their situation. Their problems are likely to push close acquaintances to withdraw their love and support. After all, who wants to deal with a drug addicted friend or one who is depressed? Not fun.
My greatest surprise was to discover the growing problem middle aged men face with loneliness. According to studies by Judy Chu and Niobe Way, obesity, smoking or lack of exercise are not the biggest threats to middle aged men, but isolation is, and it threatens their health. Their loneliness is linked to increased risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke, and Alzheimer’s. I started to wonder how active men slide into social isolation so I did a bit of investigating. What I discovered is certainly not true of all men, but the number experiencing isolation is increasing at a rate that is alarming to health professionals.
What I learned is that when men are in their thirties and forties, their high school and college buddies start taking a back burner to work and family. Male contacts become limited to those whose paths they accidentally cross while at work or in the locker room. Not nurturing friendships with men initiates their slow drift into social isolation. Their tendency is to have more casual relationships which are harder to maintain. According to a Boston Globe article, a contributing factor is a belief that talking about personal matters with other men is not manly.
Adding to their difficulties are changes in the job market that cause growing numbers of men to lose employment while in their fifties. In some cases, advancing technologies make their skills obsolete. Those employed in physically demanding jobs develop aches and pains as their bodies wear out. Without work, they feel rejected and marginalized and no longer needed. Years of focus on work left little time to develop hobbies, relationships, or for involvement in meaningful community activities. Not knowing how to occupy their time initiates a downward spiral that leads some to drink, take drugs or sit around the house all day watching sporting events.
To prevent this progression from happening, it is important to develop and maintain activities with other men. Bonding relationships need to be nurtured and strengthened over time. Unlike women, who can keep a friendship by simply talking on the phone, in general, men become closer when sharing activities. Hooking up with others to play cards, attend sporting events, or go hiking is more comfortable. Since childhood they have been taught not to show or talk about feelings. Relationship building, however, requires sharing and a willingness to show strong emotions. Men who avoid social isolation are those who overcome homophobic fears and make time for male companionship.
When women feel isolated they become lonely and depressed while men in a similar circumstances are more likely to become angry. A Psychology Today article notes that married women are lonelier than their husbands, but men feel lonelier when they are single. Makes one wonder about the reasons for marriage.
Since women tend to be more social and concerned about the quality of one-on-one relationships, they often maintain closer contacts outside of romantic ones. However, the links they have to other women are few and the label “friend’ is applied sparingly. Therefore, when a close relationship sours, it is felt deeply and its end is mourned for a long time. Though depression often follows, most women seek out someone with whom they can share their feelings.
Men react differently by staying silent and keeping their emotions bottled inside. Their feelings of alienation are lessened if their friendship group is dense. The group is their buffer to the loss of a close friend.
Being connected to others is a fundamental human need. According to AARP’s Loneliness Study, 42.6 million adults over age 45 suffer from chronic loneliness. 1/4th of the population lives alone. 1/2 are unmarried, and over the past half century the number of children per household has declined. Multi generation families no longer stay together. But the need for human contact is as strong as it ever was.
In order to avoid health pitfalls caused by isolation, society will have to give greater prioritization to human connectedness. It will help to start social skill training in elementary grades with programs continuing through high school. The medical profession can also help by encouraging their patients to maintain active social lives. Preparations for retirement should focus on social as well as financial well being. Community developers can play a major role by promoting shared social spaces that encourage gathering and interaction. Recreation centers, community gardens, tennis and bocce ball courts, community art centers should be within easy reach of everyone.
Social isolation is a major public health threat in need of serious attention
References:
Khullar,D. (2016) How Social Isolation is Killing Us. The New York Times. retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/22/upshot/how%2Dsocial%2Disolation%2Dis%2Dkilling%2Dus.html
Ashbrook,T. (2017) Middle-Aged Men Need More Friends. On Point http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2017/08/22/middle-aged-men-need-more-friends
Green, M. (2017) The Terrible Price of Our Epidemic of Male Loneliness. The Good Men Project. retrieved from http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2017/08/22/middle-aged-men-need-more-friends
Asatruam.K. (2016) 3 Surprising Truths about Gender and Loneliness, Psychology Today. retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-closeness/201601/3-surprising-truths-about-gender-and-loneliness
American Psychological Association.( 2017) Social isolation, loneliness could be greater threat to public health than obesity. Science Daily. retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170805165319.htm
Home » Blog » Social Isolation-a Crisis of Our Time
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Western Blue Bird
It is spring, when birds join together to produce and care for their offspring. All creatures have a need to be connected to others of their kind.
Acrylic on canvas/ framed/ 20.5” by 24.5”/ $375
Social Isolation – a Crisis of Our Time
Most recently, an elderly acquaintance was alone in a hospital room when his heart stopped beating. There were no friends or family around to hold his hand through his illness nor to mourn the moment of passing. When younger, this man led a vibrant, engaged ilife. He loved to travel, give thought provoking talks, party with friends, and enjoyed interacting with a wide circle of work contacts. By his waning years, however, most close friends were gone and he was left stranded alone. He had no children and his few relatives were either ill or had died years earlier.
Serving as a lay ministry at the Unitarian Church in Portland, made me aware of the large number of people who are socially isolated. About one-third of Americans over 65 are alone with their anxieties, depression, and health issues. The friends and family members they assumed would always be there to help them as they aged, dispersed throughout the country and are unwilling or unable to care for their needs. No one calls or stops by their home to chat. Those without children, peers, or counselors are not able to share the ups and downs of life. Feelings of loneliness often become a trigger, accelerating cognitive decline and premature death.
As a stuendt of human behavior, however, I am aware that social isolation is not exclusively a problem of the elderly, for it increasingly plagues youth and middle aged Americans. Health professions consider it a growing epidemic with severe mental, physical and emotional consequences. Some of their studies show childhood isolation to be the cause of poor health twenty years later.
In the United States, adults become isolated for many reasons. When moving to a new community because of a job opportunity, many people become immersed in their work, not realizing how important it is to reestablish close friendships. In other instances, it is friends or family members who do the moving, leaving the person behind with feelings of abandonment. Drug addiction, mental illness, sexual orientation, abuse and poverty cause some people to turn inward rather than share the embarrassing truth of their situation. Their problems are likely to push close acquaintances to withdraw their love and support. After all, who wants to deal with a drug addicted friend or one who is depressed? Not fun.
My greatest surprise was to discover the growing problem middle aged men face with loneliness. According to studies by Judy Chu and Niobe Way, obesity, smoking or lack of exercise are not the biggest threats to middle aged men, but isolation is, and it threatens their health. Their loneliness is linked to increased risk of cardiovascular disease, stroke, and Alzheimer’s. I started to wonder how active men slide into social isolation so I did a bit of investigating. What I discovered is certainly not true of all men, but the number experiencing isolation is increasing at a rate that is alarming to health professionals.
What I learned is that when men are in their thirties and forties, their high school and college buddies start taking a back burner to work and family. Male contacts become limited to those whose paths they accidentally cross while at work or in the locker room. Not nurturing friendships with men initiates their slow drift into social isolation. Their tendency is to have more casual relationships which are harder to maintain. According to a Boston Globe article, a contributing factor is a belief that talking about personal matters with other men is not manly.
Adding to their difficulties are changes in the job market that cause growing numbers of men to lose employment while in their fifties. In some cases, advancing technologies make their skills obsolete. Those employed in physically demanding jobs develop aches and pains as their bodies wear out. Without work, they feel rejected and marginalized and no longer needed. Years of focus on work left little time to develop hobbies, relationships, or for involvement in meaningful community activities. Not knowing how to occupy their time initiates a downward spiral that leads some to drink, take drugs or sit around the house all day watching sporting events.
To prevent this progression from happening, it is important to develop and maintain activities with other men. Bonding relationships need to be nurtured and strengthened over time. Unlike women, who can keep a friendship by simply talking on the phone, in general, men become closer when sharing activities. Hooking up with others to play cards, attend sporting events, or go hiking is more comfortable. Since childhood they have been taught not to show or talk about feelings. Relationship building, however, requires sharing and a willingness to show strong emotions. Men who avoid social isolation are those who overcome homophobic fears and make time for male companionship.
When women feel isolated they become lonely and depressed while men in a similar circumstances are more likely to become angry. A Psychology Today article notes that married women are lonelier than their husbands, but men feel lonelier when they are single. Makes one wonder about the reasons for marriage.
Since women tend to be more social and concerned about the quality of one-on-one relationships, they often maintain closer contacts outside of romantic ones. However, the links they have to other women are few and the label “friend’ is applied sparingly. Therefore, when a close relationship sours, it is felt deeply and its end is mourned for a long time. Though depression often follows, most women seek out someone with whom they can share their feelings.
Men react differently by staying silent and keeping their emotions bottled inside. Their feelings of alienation are lessened if their friendship group is dense. The group is their buffer to the loss of a close friend.
Being connected to others is a fundamental human need. According to AARP’s Loneliness Study, 42.6 million adults over age 45 suffer from chronic loneliness. 1/4th of the population lives alone. 1/2 are unmarried, and over the past half century the number of children per household has declined. Multi generation families no longer stay together. But the need for human contact is as strong as it ever was.
In order to avoid health pitfalls caused by isolation, society will have to give greater prioritization to human connectedness. It will help to start social skill training in elementary grades with programs continuing through high school. The medical profession can also help by encouraging their patients to maintain active social lives. Preparations for retirement should focus on social as well as financial well being. Community developers can play a major role by promoting shared social spaces that encourage gathering and interaction. Recreation centers, community gardens, tennis and bocce ball courts, community art centers should be within easy reach of everyone.
Social isolation is a major public health threat in need of serious attention
References:
Khullar,D. (2016) How Social Isolation is Killing Us. The New York Times. retrieved from https://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/22/upshot/how%2Dsocial%2Disolation%2Dis%2Dkilling%2Dus.html
Ashbrook,T. (2017) Middle-Aged Men Need More Friends. On Point http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2017/08/22/middle-aged-men-need-more-friends
Green, M. (2017) The Terrible Price of Our Epidemic of Male Loneliness. The Good Men Project. retrieved from http://www.wbur.org/onpoint/2017/08/22/middle-aged-men-need-more-friends
Asatruam.K. (2016) 3 Surprising Truths about Gender and Loneliness, Psychology Today. retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-art-closeness/201601/3-surprising-truths-about-gender-and-loneliness
American Psychological Association.( 2017) Social isolation, loneliness could be greater threat to public health than obesity. Science Daily. retrieved from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170805165319.htm
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