Do you get tense around the Christmas holiday? Don’t let it get to you. Take the time to enjoy nature and relax.

Keeping Up Appearances

Though there is much gaiety and joy during December, for some people, the month magnifies their depression. They don’t like the long dark nights and fear being around people where they feel obligated to smile when, on the inside, they are melancholy or upset. They become like walking zombies with smiling depression, a term not found on any psychologist’s list. Their depression may have started with a job loss, illness, or the death of a loved one or simply by being obligated to decorate their house and entertain.

Depressed smilers are highly functioning people who believe it is essential that they keep up appearances. They are good are good at faking it, appearing cheerful and optimistic. They can stay productive at work and even laugh appropriately when hiding an anxiety that gives them headaches. As perfectionists, they don’t want to burden others with their problems and are too embarrassed to share the truth. Though there may be a good reason for their depression, they pull away from friends, some turning to drugs or alcohol.

People with smiles plastered on their faces deny their true feelings, thinking they are all right as long as they smile. They worry about appearing weak, being judged or punished, and fear a backlash by admitting to their depression. They are also more likely to harm themselves than those with classic depression symptoms. To compensate, some people will overeat, while others lose their appetite. Some find it hard to wake up, yet others experience insomnia. Feeling pressured to be happy when you are not is problematic, causing emotions to fluctuate between hopelessness, guilt, and worthlessness.

Smiling depression takes a particular toll during the holidays. The best thing a person can do is try to outsmart it, says psychologist Jessica Schneider. Don’t just grin and bear your melancholy; that will only worsen matters. Develop a plan to overcome it. The problem with acting together on the outside, when you are not on the inside, is that you may not realize you are depressed. A person who thinks they have everything – a lovely house, a wonderful family, and a good job, yet isn’t happy may feel guilty, which can be exhausting. Admitting to being overwhelmed is the first step toward healing.

The good news is that smiling depression is usually a short-term phenomenon and very treatable the moment you take a step toward being your authentic self. If this malady plagues you, make sure you stay connected to your friends. Talking to someone you trust can be a powerful antidote to holiday depression. Stop worrying about living up to expectations. No one expects you to be perfect. If you are angry because your partner won’t help put up the tree or participate in festivities, don’t worry when you become irritable. That’s natural. It is also advisable not to dwell there. Instead, do something that enables you to relax. Exercise, listen to music, make art, meditate, or engage in an enjoyable activity that will change your mood.

During this season of miracles, close your eyes and imagine that your most pressing problems are gone and that you will wake up in the morning relaxed and happy. Allowing yourself needed downtime will brighten your day.

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How do you feel now that Christmas is upon us? Is it a struggle to get through the days or, do you embrace each one joyfully? Do share your thoughts on my blog site below.

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Moroin, A. LCWS.(2023)  Smiling Depression: When Things Aren’t Quite as They Seem. Verywell Mind. retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-smiling-depression-4775918

Casarella, J. MD. (2022) Smiling Depression: What You Need to Know. WebMD. retrieved from https://www.webmd.com/depression/smiling-depression-overview

Mastrocola, K. (2023) Outsmart the ‘Smiling Sadness’ That Can Take Its Toll During the Holidays. First, for women. https://www.firstforwomen.com/posts/health/what-is-smiling-depression