Category: social commentary

Fearing Fear Itself

Last Night’s Dream Fear can fill dreams with chaotic thoughts and worrisome images, producing lasting feelings of disquiet.

acrylic on canvas/ 32” x 26 “/ gold painted wood frame/ $498

Fear Itself

In his first inaugural address, President Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” This comment holds true today when the public is frightened by those using fear as a method of control. Their system is working. Last week I heard an elderly woman say she was afraid to leave her house because of mass shootings and immigrant terrorists. Churches, synagogues, mosques and schools are moved to develop active shooter plans.

The U.S. does have a staggeringly high number of active and mass shooter incidents compared to other developed nations. In 2017 there were 29 such events. Andy, yes, the number of incidents has risen steadily since 2000 when there were four. Once again a record. will be set in 2018. This week’s tragedy brings the horror of terrorism to the surface. However, as terrible as these incidents are, they are nothing compared to the number of fatalities on our highways. And, though 37,133 people were killed in motor vehicle traffic crashes in 2017, driving does not elicit the same fear as imagining yourself as the next victim of a mass shooting. Why do you think that is?

We are told that illegal immigrants commit more crimes than American born citizens. Yet, when Alex Nowrasteh with the Cato Institute analyzed Texas Data to make a comparison he found that “The arrest rate for illegal immigrants was 40 percent below that of native-born Americans” and the homicide arrest rate for native-born Americans was “about 46 percent higher than the illegal immigrant homicide arrest rate.” National statistics were similar. ” Illegal immigrants are 47 percent less likely to be incarcerated than natives and even less likely to be in jail or prison.” Other studies reported in the Journal of Criminology supports these finding as well.

Interesting statistics.

You are 35,079 times more likely to die from heart disease than a terrorist attack.
You are 4,706 times more likely to drink yourself to death than from terrorism.
You are 2,059 times more likely to kill yourself than die at the hand of a terrorist.
You are 452 times more likely to die from risky sexual behavior than terrorism.
You are more likely to die of lightning than a terrorist attack and 6,000 more likely to die from a fall.

The list goes on and on. So why the hype? Why the fear?

It might may one wonder about the exorbitant amount of money spent on protecting ourselves from unlikely scenarios. Funds would be better spent on monitoring highways and heart research.

In 2016, Donald Trump said “People are scared.” He got that right, for they are. According the the Atlantic, Americans are afraid of crime, though rates are down, of a terrorist attacks, and of frightened unarmed immigrants. Politicians are masters at invoking fear in abstract ways to improve their chances of winning.

The Atlantic goes on to say that according to social scientists, “It (fear) makes people hold more tightly to what they have and regard the unfamiliar more warily. They crave protection. The fear reaction is a universal one to which everyone is susceptible. History shows it has the power to bring people to the polls to vote out of their usual way. I see fearful people as people looking for “Daddy” a strong individual who promises security though there is no threat. And, I see politicians as a play actors protecting their flock from the imaginary giants they created in the first place.

I witnessed this behavior pattern when I was president of OMSI. One year we brought an animated dinosaur exhibit to the museum that frighted some of our younger visitors. Many parents, rather admit their child was too young for the exhibit, held them in their arms and forced them face the monsters saying,”Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. No need to be afraid.” Through some children were terrorized, their parents thought their fear to be cute and funny. It gave them an opportunity to be protectors who saved their youngsters from imaginary demons.

“The Politics of Fear” by Frank Fured begins, “Fear is the most powerful enemy of reason. Both fear and reason are essential to human survival, but the relationship between them is unbalanced. Reason may sometimes dissipate fear, but fear frequently shuts down reason.”

Fear has often been employed for political gains. After 9/11 fear was used to rally support for the illegal invasion of Iraq, and to sanction use of waterboarding. In the 1990’s Clinton didn’t want to be called soft on crime so he spoke of “super-predator”criminals, stirring a fear fueled by sensational media which pushed mass incarcerations. McCarthy incited fear over communism that caused thousands of innocent people to lose their jobs.

This past year, however, we have seen the use of fear tactics elevated to epic proportions to scare people into submission. The latest one is about citizenship. The idea that children born in the United States to immigrant families will be denied citizenship is ludicrous. If we take that idea back far enough, the only remaining people left to populate our country will be Native Americans.

During the mid-term election, ads called Kyrsten Senima in Arizona “soft on prostitution.” Where did that come from? Numerous advertisements claimed their opponents were dealing in drugs, the cause of crime waves and the spread of gangs such as MS-13. We are told to fear black people , proud people, Muslims, and gay people. We should fear Jews, violent crimes ( a quarter of what it was in the 1990’s). Democrats should fear Republicans and long time neighbors if they are Democrats’ And, oh yes, we should all fear the media.

Unfortunately, fear is used so often and in such a Machiavellian way that it’s destroying the fabric of our country.I am surprised people don’t see through these fear tactics and ask themselves who benefits by your fear. Who maintains power? Who becomes wealthy?

This blatant a bid for power keeps people trembling until they fall in line. Followers will do the fear monger’s bidding like approve tax cuts for billionaires, ruin the environment for the benefit of oil and timber companies. They will put up with bad air quality, poor water and polluted oceans. They will cut entitlement programs and health care for middle and low income people. They’ll permit the sale of ammunitions to our enemies, makings millions more for the billionaires.

Whatever happened to “Love they neighbor as thyself?” When did we stop believing in the common good, the melting pot, an American dream for all? It is time to ignore divisive rhetoric and return to rational thinking and behavior. When you hear fear talk, ask yourself who benefits because you are afraid?

Let’s heed Roosevelt’s words and stop fearing fear itself.

References:

University of Alabama (2016) Pubic Mass Shooters and Firearms: A Cross-National Study of 171 Countries. PubMed. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26822013.

Alertfind (2018) Active shooters in 2018: Key Stats and Facts. Disaster Recovery Journal. retrieved from https://www.drj.com/myblog/active-shooters-in-2018-key-stats-and-facts.html

Traffic Safety Facts (2018) 12017 Fatal Motor Vehicle Crashes: Overview. U.S. Department of Transportation. retrieved from https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/812603

Farley, R. (2018) Is Legal Immigration Linked to More or Less Crime? FactCheck.org a project of the Annenberg Public Policy Center. retrieved from https://www.factcheck.org/2018/06/is-illegal-immigration-linked-to-more-or-less-crime/

McClatchy, (2011) The Terrorism Statistics Every American Needs to Hear. Center for Research on Globalization. retrieved from http://www.globalresearch.ca/the-terrorism-statistics-every-american-needs-to-hear/5382818

Ball, M. (20116) Donald Trump and the Politics of Fear. The Atlantic. retrieved from https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/09/donald-trump-and-the-politics-of-fear/498116/

Abramsky, S.(2018) Trump’s GOP is running harder than ever on the politics of fear. Los Angeles Times. retrieved from http://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-abramsky-trump-politics-of-fear-midterms-20180923-story.html

Politics of fear

Life is Sweet

Bursting Forth – There is beauty all around when we open our eyes to see.

Acrylic on Canvas/ Wood Frame/ 37” x 31” / $ 599

“Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, Oh, what a Beautiful Day”

The words from the Oklahoma musical, ring true if we let them. Life is sweet and it is ours to relish every moment. It’s time to remember that there is good in the world. No matter how riled up we get because of politics, violence or economic uncertainty, there are moments of beauty and kindness that need our attention and appreciation. No mater what the outcome of the election, no matter how serious the illness, no matter how great the loss, the sun will still rise tomorrow, the earth turn on its axis and two rovers will send signals back from Mars. November is the month of Thanksgiving. Let’s cherish it and encourage what is good.

The other day I watched a newborn child and thought how fortunate she was to be welcomed into the arms of loving parents. Warmth, security and encouragement will most likely be there to help this child prosper. Looking at the tiny body, I imagined the first real smile (not from gas) she will bestow on her caregivers and the bonds that are forming forming in her first days alive. I wanted to reach out and feel the soft fuzz sleeping eyes and a perky little mouth that occasionally moved a while she slept as though dreaming of milk.

I recently organized a group of women in my exercise facility to open hearts and purses to help a locker room attendant. The aide was a courageous Ethiopian immigrant who, along with her Somalian husband, settled in the U.S. seven years ago. Due to an injured knee, this hard working helper lost several months of work, adding to the burden of her struggling family. The love and kindness exhibited by generous donors reminded me of how people in small towns come together to help neighbors. Americans can be very benevolent and compassionate, not like the media occasionally depicts us.

Struggling through misfortune is not easy, but if the day’s challenges are met with positiveness and zeal, it is possible to climb over and around obstacles. Not being ashamed or reluctant to ask for help and being available to aid friends and neighbors when needed, creates community. It brings people closer together and enables them to get through the rough spots and return to a state of balance.

My experience, however, is that most people, don’t want to stay very long in quiet equilibrium. Surprisingly, to avoid boredom, they insert barriers that shake things up a bit. Having a child, attending college, accepting increased work responsibilities, challenging athletic times, sailing in rough weather, making a happy home are burdens we choose to stimulate our minds, develop meaning and create wealth. Self-inflicted problems within our control usually add to a sense of well being.

a baby crying for hours can create unexpected headaches. Illness, accidents, job loss, housing evictions and violence builds huge fences that have to be scaled. How does one face bullying or terrorism without being permanently traumatized?

It’s certainly not easy . . . but it is doable. There is a choice. The afflicted person can wallow in self-pity or seek ways to climb out of the quicksand. Meditation, mindfulness, positive thinking and hard work are learned pursuits that lead back to balance. Remaining active even when you don’t feel like it and accepting small challenges when life feels insurmountable, provides bounce-back.

I watched my adopted boy, Seth, thrive despite experiencing a debilitating accident. He is a constant reminder of how resilient humans can be. His twenty-eight years have always been difficult. Born into an unstable family, living on the streets for four years, training to be a journeyman industrial painter, surviving a workplace accident and coping as a quadriplegic required him to invent and reinvent himself many times. Two weeks ago, out of 2,000 injured patients from throughout the country, Seth received a national award for transforming his life so well. He lives independently in a new city, drives a car with hand controls, enjoys go-Kart racing, is on a wheelchair rugby team and volunteers two days a week as a mentor to those worse off than he. Best of all, he has developed friendships. He surrounds himself with those who share positive outlooks and stays away from constant complainers. His cup is always half full.

I invite you to join me in a month-long wallowing in beauty, joy and thanksgiving. Look around to find good and tap into as soon as you can, Enjoy the sunset, feel the rain, study the birds feeding at feeders or flying south in formation and see —really see each snow flake when they start to fall. Remind that there is beauty even in the midst of sadness, that there are births in the midst of deaths. This November.

References:

NASA,(2018) Mars Exploration Rovers. Jet Propulsion Laboratory, California Institute of technology. retrieved from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory web site https://mars.nasa.gov/mer/overview/

Thanksgiving

A Way Out of Madness

Solar Systems

We live in the same universe and share the same planet. Can’t we live on it in peace?

Acrylic on Canvas/ 16” x 20”/ $ 299

A Way Out of Madness

People are concerned about how our country is going to heel the current political divide before it leads to a full fledged civil war. If you don’t think that scenario is possible they say, look at Syria. It used to be a vibrant country of 22 million that was considered a political and military heavyweight in the region. It’s rich history is both complex and diverse. Before the war, it boasted bustling marketplaces in Damascus and Aleppo with an innovative IT industry despite economic sanctions imposed by the west. It was known for having a sophisticated literary tradition, film industry, supermarkets and modern shopping centers to go along with the old. Friends and family gathering around tables for celebrations welcomed all who knocked on their door. It was a melting pot of religion and ethnicities, allowing for mixed marriages between Christians and Muslims. Syria was a cradle of civilization in the Middle East. Are we headed in this direction? Is this image from Syria a possibility for us?

A friend told me how upset she was because her conservative brother-in-law made demeaning and nasty comments on Facebook about her liberal leaning brother. She said she now understands how families, split over political beliefs, were devastated by the Civil War. Looking back, hopefully, most people can see that war is not the way forward.

Wars benefits ammunition dealers, financiers and this hungry for power. They rarely help citizens who are instead used as fodder. They kill thousands of ordinary people, destroy homes, and leave families and friends destitute and bitter. As with our own Civil War, some people never heal and put the conflict behind them. PTSD and long lasting grudges spill into future generations. Is war the training we want to give our children?

Who will stop the madness taking over America? It has to be tackled on many fronts but I look to our children. They view the world differently than their elders, are more accepting of differences and better educated in environmental issues. However, the quality of their schooling is not evenly distributed. Our job as adults is to change that trajectory and insure that everyone receives a comprehensive education. Perhaps they will them be able to help us stop this madness.

Let’s start with bullying, a problem that can make a young person afraid to attend classes. Programs to eliminate bullying are now part of curriculums nationwide.They begin in the elementary years and continue through twelfth grade. My hope is that graduates will not stand for the type of name calling and bulling that now invades the highest levels of government.

I was taught that “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never harm me.” Unfortunately, that’s not true. Labeling people horseface, Pocahantus, bimbo, dumb as a rock, sophomoric, beggar, clown , sleepy-eyes and dumpy-political-pundit is not only hurtful and ugly but is childish. Most parents don’t support this type of rhetoric at home or in their schools. Upset parents are the reason schools now emphasize compassionate communication and bully free zones. With this type of early training, I anticipate our children will lead in more civilized ways.

The study of history provides ways to learn from the past, but only if it is presented in honest, complete and unbiased ways. Reading textbooks that are slanted towards the white race at the expense of other groups will not heel our country’s divide. Subjects need to be included that are often glossed over such as the Indian Wars of the late 1800s, the growth and suppression of labor unions and the racially motivated immigration laws of the early 1990s. By understanding both sides of issues we learn to open our hearts so we can hear divergent concerns. Studying the past enables youth to see what worked and what didn’t so that they can better deal with the world they find themselves in today.

It is important that students learn how to search for truth, but even more important that teachers inspire them to want to do so. Encouraging curiosity is the greatest of tasks. There are consequences to complacency and ignorance. From an early age on, questioning should be encouraged. If a parent or teacher does not have an answer then the two should challenge themselves to discover what it is. Parents can inspire curiosity when visiting national monuments like the Liberty Bell, the Statue of Liberty or the Capital. If the budget doesn’t allow for travel, then videos, books and local museums can provide material for discussion. In either case, there is no substitute for talking to children about what is seen. Exploring deeply will prepare them to be thinkers and intelligent voters.

With the exception of a few states, most school curriculums cover environmental issues around global warming. The teens I speak to are knowledgeable and concerned, often more aware of the human influence on climate change than older adults. It is good that they understand the science but it would also be helpful if economic factors were brought into discussions for they are at the crux of congress’s unwillingness to act. Combatting warmer temperatures requires people to change the way they live, what they eat, and how they move.

Learning where money flows, who benefits and who sacrifices tells a lot about the political debate. It is a subject that should not be glossed over if we want our children to get us out of the mess we’re in. Recognizing that there are winners and losers and debating the pros and cons of various economic, religious and political systems is challenging but also interesting to most young minds. A place to start could be a discussion of “the common good,” for it is at the base of many political and economic beliefs.

My bicycle riding neighbor stop me, “ I don’t believe in the common good. I believe people should sink or swim on their own merits. I started out dirt poor. I’m a self made man. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined. Anyone who works hard can do the same. I probably will wind up living in a gated community.”

This man of color pulled himself out of poverty. He is intelligent, college educated, earned a pile of money that allowed him engage in entrepreneurial ventures. Unfortunately, most people do not have his skills nor the support that helped him become an NBA player. Thousands fall through the cracks of poverty, poor schooling and parental ignorance.

Public education has the potential of being the great equalizer. But adults need to insure schools have resources and teachers who are willing and able to reach out and encourage students to express concerns, to think for themselves and to problem solve. They need to learn when they’re being duped and how to analyze fake news. Collecting and considering information is something curious people do

Public education is under attack and we can not let that happen. The move to use public money for private schooling through vouchers will exasperate the divide. Religious indoctrination doesn’t belong in public education. Integrating schools in the aggregate, works. Giving marginal students extra help, works. Funding pre-schools works. Providing school meals for the hungry, works. Special education for those with disabilities, works. Subsidizing college tuitions, works. Fair programs will allow our children to heal the social divid and make America great again.

I’m not hopeful about our country right now. I don’t like being marginalized and told I’m not a true patriot. We are all Americans and need to work together to keep democracy working. Seemingly we don’t have the ability to get over our differences, so let’s make sure our children do. Five them the tools to govern more rationally.

References:

Saleh,S. (2014) Five things you never knew about Syria before the war. news.com.au. retrieved from https://www.news.com.au/world/five-things-you-never-knew-about-syria-before-the-war/news-story/50aee87307f613edcd8505f7bce12d0b

Krueger, H., Hardiman, K., Kelly, C. (2015)Trump’s most notable insults. The Hill. retrieved from https://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/249102-trumps-most-notable-insults

Lynn,R & Vanhanen,T., (2010)All Countries: What is the Average I! in the United Sates? IQ Research. retrieved from https://iq-research.info/en/average-iq-by-country/us-united-states

Art is always for sale. Contact marilynne@eichingerfineart.c

education social divide

Population Growth: Still a Concern?

Surf’s Up Acrylic on Canvas/ 48” by 36” / $ 699.00

Six of the Solomon Islands have disappeared due to rising seas and erosion. Their destroyed villages forced residents to relocate. Other islanders are negotiating for a place to lgo when their land is no longer inhabitable. The Solomon Islands, with a population of 640,000, lie 1,000 north-east of Australia.

Population Growth: Still a Concern?

The main stream press and top politicians cover many of the world’s problems, but I rarely hear talk, as in the 70s, of overpopulation as a root cause. The other day I got into a discussion with my oldest son about whether population is still is an issue of concern. Our conversation ended by my agreeing to look into the issue.

An article in Scientific American about sustainability started me thinking. It said that slowing the rise in human numbers is essential for the planet, but doesn’t require population control. It also said that the jury is out as to whether growth of human population is a positive factor or a dominant ill spelling environmental and social catastrophe. What do they mean?

I find current statistics, which take into account birth and death rates, to be staggering. In the 1950s, according to the World Health Organization, U.S. women expected to live to 71and men to 66 years. This was quite a rise from 1900 when the numbers were 48 for women and 46 years for men. Fast forward to today and we find that expectancy is 79 for women and 74 years for men.

As population increases, however, people do not spread out over the planet. Instead they move to cities causing congestion, crime and difficulties with sanitation, clean water and access to health care. Overpopulation is primarily a problem of high density cities. In the U.S. 62 percent of the population live in cities, but they occupy only 3.5 percent of land area. Don’t want to be crowded? Move to Sitka, Alaska where there are only 3.1 people per square mile.

Growth in human population has had a devastating effect on plants and animals. It has caused approximately 27,000 species to become extinct each year. Adding to this problem is overconsumption which is outpacing overpopulation, causing natural resources to dwindle at an alarming rate. Global consumption of raw materials increased by 17 times during the 20th century. Toxic rain and acidifying rivers, ocean dead zones, melting polar caps, ozone destruction, top soil erosion, the Great Pacific Garbage Patch and vanishing lakes are caused by out-of-control population growth over-consuming.

Until population stops growing, the need to squeeze each person’s consumption of fossil fuels and other natural resources will continue. Billions of people living in the developing world would like to consume as Americans do. Population growth pushes consumption levels higher, adding to environmental degradation.

Those who enjoy individual freedom will be concerned as well. Freedom to travel and spend time in areas rich in natural resources are increasingly affected by hordes of visitors. Locals in cities like Berlin, Prague and Barcelona complain about the growing number of visitors wandering their streets. As they are outnumbered by foreigners, they fear the loss of identity. Countries worldwide are putting limits on tourist housing to control noisy visitors who degrade their towns and destroy sites of natural beauty.

Democracy too is affected, for governments are less representative as population increases. Two senators for each state has remained constant even as population shifted and increased. And, the 435 House members represent and growing number of constituents. It is no wonder that so many voters feel disenfranchised from their government. It is difficult to get through to overburdened congressmen.

Around the world, growing and grazing areas are victims of global warming. Water shortages, fires and floods push people to abandon their lands, and because wars over energy resources destroy communities, pressure from immigrants will continue to plague wealthier countries. What would you do if your livestock died and vegetable garden shriveled in 120 degree temperatures? What if you lived in Australia where summer temperatures hover at 117 degrees and fire turns forests into carbon dioxide? What if you were terrorized by war lords fighting over oil and water rights? Where will people go if the ocean covers Amsterdam, Venice, Miami or Manhattan? What if your family lived with the fear of being kidnapped for ransom?

I know I would do everything in my power to protect my loved ones. I would leave. If I had to steal for food, I would. If I had to sneak into a country with greater opportunities, I would—for what other choice would I have? Immigration is a bitter debate, but it’s a losing one for temperate climate countries if population growth and consumption does not slow down.

Can the situation be turned around? Will a downshift in population growth put us on a more sustainable path. The answer is no, that will not be enough. We also have to change consumptive behavior dramatically.

Demographers estimate that at the time of Christ there were 300,000 people on earth. Today’s world population clock shows 7.7 billion people. So far this year (as of October 10th) there were 108,887.272 births, 45,145,885 deaths, making the growth to date is 63,851,559. The largest countries by population in descending order are China (1.5 billion), India (1.35 billion) and much to my surprise the U.S.A. (327,413.377). Indonesia, Brazil, Pakistan, Nigeria, Bangladesh and Russia follow.

World Population Forecast (2020-2050)

Year (July 1)	Population	Median Age	Fertility Rate	Density (P/Km²)	Urban Pop %
2020	7,795,482,309	31	2.47	52	55.6%
2025	8,185,613,757	32	2.43	55	57.5%
2030	8,551,198,644	33	2.39	57	59.2%
2035	8,892,701,940	34	2.35	60	60.7%
2040	9,210,337,004	35	2.31	62	62.1%
2045	9,504,209,572	35	2.27	64	63.5%
2050	9,771,822,753	36	2.24	66	64.9%

World Population by Region

#	Region	Population (2018)
1	Asia	4,545,133,094
2	Africa	1,287,920,518
3	Europe	742,648,010
4	Latin America and the Caribbean	652,012,001
5	Northern America	363,844,490
6	Oceania	41,261,212

Some people believe that population rates will decline when third world countries become more developed. One UN estimate predicts declines starting by 2100 while another estimate predicts an increase. Confused? It is difficult to say which way the global population pendulum will swing in future centuries or if the environment will still be able to provide sustenance for earth’s residents.

You decide. Is overpopulation a matter for concern? Is it at the root of poverty, homelessness, migration, war and global warming?

Please share your comments on my blog site below.

Art is always for sale. Contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.

Resources:

Engelman,R. (2009) Population and Sustainability: Can We Avoid Limiting the Number of People? Scientific American. retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/population-and-sustainability/

10 Lively Facts about Population Growth. (2018) Postconsumers. retrieved from https://www.postconsumers.com/2014/04/09/10-facts-overpopulation/

Current World Population Clock. Worldometers. retrieved from website http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/.

Wooldridge, F.(2017) What Constitutes Overpopulation in America? Too Many People! Denver Post. retrieved from http://denver.yourhub.com/Denver/Blogs/Your-Voice/Blog~896810.

Earth Talk.(2017) Is it true that human overpopulation isn’t such a big issue anymore, as numbers are expected to start declining in a few decades?. Scientific American’s Environmental Magazine. retrieved from https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/human-overpopulation-still-an-issue-of-concern/

United States Census Newsroom (2015) U.S. Cities are Home to 62.7 Percent of the U.S. Population but Comprise Just 3.5 Percent of Land Area. U.S. Census. retrieved from https://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2015/cb15-33.html

Me Too? You Too? Not My Kids!!

“Searching for Truth” Truth will eventually emerge. Lies will be uncovered. There are always consequences.

24” x 18”x1.5”/ acrylic on Canvas/ $350/

Me too? You Too? Not My Kids

The number of women seeking counseling for sex abuse increased 400 percent last week. I was reminded of the clients I assisted when I worked as a mental health professional. They also made me think of the women I helped later in my career as business woman. A great many suffered from abuse. It was hard to their stories and difficult to advise them how stop unwanted advances before becoming a monumental problem. The world of work carries its own challenges.

For instance, a thirty-seven-year old woman r opened a consulting firm that was making headway in a national market. She had a few contracts with major conglomerates and was on call 24 hours a day to help them handle difficult personnel issues. She gave speeches at conventions, wrote a book and made the right moves to be recognized as an expert. Standing in her way, however, was a competitor, a well established older man who threatened to blackball her if she did not sleep with him. The woman was happily married with two children and had no desire to attend to the mans sexual needs, yet she needed his support to further her business goals. She wasn’t sure how to maintain a working relationship without giving in to his demands. What would you do?

I advised her to confront him head on— to tell him how much she enjoyed his attention but that she was happily married and not interested in an affair. I suggested she then flatter him for his knowledge of the field and ask if he would be willing to provide advice from time to time. They went on to have an collegial relationship built on mutual business interests.

Another woman was a department head in a small business funded primarily by men who formed the company’s board of directors. The woman was tall and blond, and attracted the attention of the director of a fortune 500 company who invested $200,000 in the start up. At the end of a late meeting, the man offered to walk the woman to her car. As she opened the door, he grabber her, planted a wet French kiss on her lips and asked to meet for dinner the following week. The woman, was disgusted and did not want to go near the man again. Unfortunately her position required them to interact occasionally. She decided the best thing to do was be direct. She explained she was married, not interested in an affair but flattered by his attention. The president of the start up, made aware of what happened, assure her that she would never seated near him again.

I had several experiences as well. personal At a meeting with a newly elected board chairman, I was asked to define our future relationship. He wanted to know if the right to join me in bed went along with the job as chair. At the time, I thought he was joking. He wasn’t. He was serious, but at least he asked. I told him no, that especially since he was in a leadership position we could not have an affair. My goal was to keep him actively involved with the organization without damaging his ego or my privacy. I am still amazed that he thought his position entitled him to my body.

All of the women mentioned were shocked at being considered a sex toy. In similar situations, many women freeze and get in trouble because they are unable to respond quickly fearing they will lose their livelihood if they don’t comply. As children they were never told that someone might try to abuse them and as young adults the subject remained taboo. When I was younger, girls and boys were not taught about their legal rights, how to respond to abuse or how to fight back. Thank goodness the these issues have come to the forefront and hope they will not be ignored by future generations.

Many children are sexually abused in childhood. Girls have a 1 in 4 chance and boys a 1 in 6 chance of being molested before the age of 18. Those with disabilities are 2.9 times more likely to be abused than children without a disability. Most children do not report their abuser. My parents never talked to me and I was shocked and ill prepared to faced “Me Too” events. And, though I taught my children about sex, respect and what makes a good relationship, it never crossed my mind to discuss abuse. The “Me Too” movement changed my thinking and I now suggest that abuse become a topic for family discussion.

Parents who routinely teach their children traffic safety rules need to add sex abuse discussions to the docket. They need to start when their children are young (4 year olds are often molested) and teach them the names of private parts (no cute names) when they are taught to say ears, nose and toes. They need to be able to communicate clearly to you, teachers, and a doctor when necessary. If they learn a pet name (like my kit-cat) the adult may not know what they’re talking about.

It is important for children to feel loved and their parents want to keep them safe. They should know that their private parts are theirs to control. They need to learn that no one should touch them even if they’re promised that it will make them feel good. Bathroom or stall doors should be closed, public restrooms locked, and nudity restricted to bedroom or bathroom. As soon as possible children should be taught to clean their private parts by themselves.

Parents should not force children to kiss or hug anyone they don’t want to and children need to understand that secrets are not kept from parents. He or she must be told they will be believed know matter what is said, and that the truth will never get them in trouble. The them that some people threaten children by saying something bad will happen to them or their parents if they say tattle. Those who are abused feel vulnerable, powerless and conflicted. Talking calmly, answering questions and demonstrating that the subject is not taboo is a pathway for open communication.

As children enter high school, alcohol, bullying, and date abuse can be added to the conversation. Many schools have sex ed classes though not all discuss abuse. Even if they do, these conversations belong in the home as well. Topics should touch on verbal consent before sex and the importance of developing a caring relationship. Sex should not be seen as a route for popularity as it is for many teens.

Workplaces are also fraught with abuse and harassment. Many, but not all, companies have policies in place to deal with inappropriate behavior. Equal opportunity laws such as the Civil Rights Act, Americans with Disabilities Act and the Age Discrimination Act prohibit harassment, abuse and discrimination in the workplace are the basis for most policies. Even so, abuse occurs. Young adults will avoid pitfalls if their parents willingly discuss workplace abuse. The more a youth knows about the ways predators act, the less likely he or she will freeze and respond inappropriately.

It is impossible to be prepared for every scenario, nor do we want to raise fearful children. Most people are good, but some are not, and being naive does not help when faced with evil. I recommend that high school girls and boys take classes in self defense, karate or Judo. Students can learn to assess threats and sharpen reaction times.

I am glad that the subject of abuse is out in the open. The time to learn respect for one another is now.

Kim,S. (2014) 10 ways to Talk to Your Kids About Sexual Abuse. Every Day Feminism Magazine. retrieved from https://everydayfeminism.com/

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Potty Mouths

The Gossips

What are they saying? Are they cursing, bullying, sharing sordid stories or tales of beauty?

Acrylic on Canvas/ 12” x 36” x 1.5 “ $285

Potty Mouths

When did it become OK to curse in public? As a child living in a lower middle-class neighborhood, I was exposed to cursing on the streets. At home, however, mother treated profanities ruthlessly by washing my mouth with soap if I uttered one of the evil words. She taught me effectively for I never curse, nor do my friends, family, business associates or social acquaintances. So—who utters obscenities besides stand-up comedians?

I was surprised when when my writers group suggested I have characters in a novel I’m writing, swear to show strong emotions. Uttering fuck or shit does not come naturally to me, though I do realize that for many people they are common place. Words like “Knucklehead” or “Damn” are considered whining instead of cursing.

Why is contemporary society willing to accept crude a words as the norm? What happened to “good” manners and polite conversation?

Strong language has always been part of the voice of most cultures. In every country, swearing or profanity in known to erupt from an explosion of emotion, often aimed at upsetting another person. But anger isn’t the only reason people use crude words. James Harbek of the BBC speaks of five different ways people swear. For example one can say, “descriptively (Let’s fuck), idiomatically (It’s fucked up), abusively (Fuck you…!), emphatically (This is fucking amazing), and cathartically (Fuck!!!).” These are not necessarily meant to annoy.

Some words are taboo, but whether they are considered considered swearing varies from culture to culture. For instance, in some South African tribes, it is not OK for a woman to say her father-in-law’s name or any word that sounds like it, but if she does, it doesn’t turn it into a curse word if said accidentally.

Genitalia are commonly used in strong language, but again not always. In one Philippine language buray ni nanya (mother’s vagina) is heard as regularly as I would say, “Nuts!” Calling someone a ‘whore’ is also an international term, but usually refers to someone other than a wife. The most aggressive curse used by most cultures is naming a sexual act against someone’s mother. “Motherfucker” comes to mind.

Among Christian cultures, devil, hell, and Satan were turned into evil words by missionaries. Contemporary American society considers “damn” and “hell” to be moderate curse words in the middle of the spectrum. Potty words also get mixed attention depending on the country. In Sweden, for instance, you might say Skif (Shit) if annoyed, but it is not a very considered a powerful curse and can be said in front of your Grandmother without repercussion. Poor health bothers the Dutch. Calling someone a “cancer sufferer”is a bad phase to use in Holland. In Mandarin, guītóu, or turtles head, is a veiled reference to penis and a strong curse.

Contemporary society is embroiled in a culture face-off between moralists and modernists. Moralists see swearing as a collapse of civility and sign of America getting coarser. They trace rampant cursing back to civil rights and Vietnam demonstrators shouting curses at rallies in the 60’s. Since then, Hollywood films, rock music and hip hop have made them commonplace. Moralists believe society has lost all sense of shame. They believe increased use of profanities escalates anger and supports bullying that is disruptive to civilized communication.

Cromplaining about unchecked profanity is not new. In the 1920s, society railed around ‘slummers’, well-bred young people who emulated course language heard at the docks. In the 40s, a profanity came sailing home from the wars in Europe and Asia, along with returning GIs. But, during those periods, cursing didn’t not overwhelm common language as it does today. According to NPR, curse language has increased exponentially in recent years. They report that since the 1970s, causal vulgarity became more commonplace as informality expanded.

Modernists consider “dirty” words to be so ordinary that they are no longer profane. They’re simply colorful, though most agree that kids should be taught not to use them at inappropriate times. I’ve even heard someone say that, “potty mouths are like potholes, just another of life’s little inconveniences.”

To many, however, they are much worse than potholes. They see curse words and gutter talk indicating a lack of having class. Most citizens want their leaders to refrain from cursing. No one is interested in hearing a political say “Twat”, “Bitch” ,“Cock” or “Wanked” on national TV.

Apparently, I am one a of dwindling few who find vulgarness troubling, and don’t enjoy hearing people swear in public. I don’t even find it funny when comedians spout curse words and see their use as a crutch and poor substitute for cleverness.

When it comes to raising children, three-quarters of the population say parents should teach them that cursing is never right. Strangely enough, 85% of the same population poled, say they curse from time to time.

Uttering profanities vividly demonstrates that your emotions got the better of you. When I hear people swear in anger, I tend to judge them badly for they are out of control even if they are justified to be upset. I don’t want to be around them until they calm down. Swearing does not explain the cause of their anger and it gets in the way of the ability to problem solve.

Modernists need moralists if their curses are to mean anything. Foul mouths will lose power If everyone in society casually accepts profanity, for without prudes like me who are shocked by vulgarness, curse words will become meaningless.

I would love to hear your take on the use of profanity in common parlance. Please comment below.

References:

Harbeck, J. (2015) Mind your language! Swearing around the world. BBC Culture. retrieved from http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20150306-how-to-swear-around-the-world

Nunberg,G.(2012) Swearing: A long and 3%@&$ History. NPR – Fresh Air Opinion. retrieved from https://www.npr.org/2012/07/24/156623763/swearing-a-long-and-history

My art is aways for sale. Contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.

Past and Present

Georgetown Row Houses

Until the age of eleven, I lived in a row house close to neighbors, where friends were easily made and it was safe to roam the streets.

Then and Now

Last Saturday was my birthday. I was born on Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, which ushers in the Days of Awe that last through Yom Kippur. According to the Jewish calendar, fall rituals have been happening for 5779 years. These high holy days are a time for remembrance, contemplation and forgiveness. It is a solemn occasion, yet joyous, for with forgiveness comes healing and joy. Children are blessed, extra charity is dispersed and honey cakes eaten to usher in a sweet year.

While celebrating my birthday and the holiday, I reminisced about my childhood and dead relatives. My first recollection as an infant was of my father waking me in my crib and while half asleep, carrying me downstairs to a house full of friends partying in our living room. I was bewildered by the noise, but the faces that peered in my direction were friendly. Dad held me securely, as he and my mother did throughout the years I lived at home.

This memory brings to mind images of less fortunate families, those fleeing homes because of war or famine. I remember seeing a pictures of a child who drowned at sea while his parents watched helplessly from an overcrowded boat. Courageous men and women live through unimaginable adversity in order to escape the tragic realities of their homeland. At the same time, the images make me grateful, for I was held securely, never dropped or neglected, but always loved, cradled and protected.

Grandpa protected us by roaming the neighborhood during WWII to make sure blackout shades were lowered. Mother watched out for us by carefully clipping rations to insure that we ate balanced meals that included vegetables from my grandparent’s victory garden. When the men left for the front and an aunt and cousins came to live with us, the adults shielded us from the brutality the war, made sure our early years were happy ones.

Later, when the U.S. was embroiled in the Cold War, there were no adults to protect me from fear. Air-raid drills and bomb shelter talk put me in a state of continuous worry. I felt stressed and wanted to move far away from the coast, believing that Boston would be a prime target. Propaganda said we’d be safe ducking under school desks to avoid harm from a blast. We were told to make preparations in case the had to stay in a basement shelter for several days. I became cynical after realizing we were lied to and being fed propaganda. It reinforced a belief that my future was tied to education. I wanted to be able to dig for the truth and make decisions based on fact. But I digress. . .

Until my eleventh birthday I lived in a lower middle-class area of Philadelphia during a time peddlers hawked wares on the streets. I used to run outside the moment the organ grinder stopped to play in front of our house. His music attracted neighborhood kids with nickels to place in the monkey’s cup. Dressed in colorful shorts and red jacket, we were mesmerized as the animal ran back and forth from music box to the organ grinder’s shoulders.

Some families still used ice boxes instead of electric refrigerators, which brought the ice truck to a nearby corner. The iceman’s arrival always attracted a crowd of kids to his tailgate on hot summer days. When finished with deliveries, he took out his long icepick and chipped slivers of ice to put in outstretched hands. Licking icicles was a cooling way to enjoy the heat—and it cost nothing. However, the Howdy Doody truck which jingled later in the day, was also popular. I always tried to be first in line to get a popsicle.

Summer was for leisure and play. Hours were not heavily booked with classes and camps. We had plenty of time to splash in the water gushing from a hydrant that was opened by a friendly fireman and to play Hide and Seek, Jacks or Red Light, Green Light. Stay-at-home-moms watched out for our safety. I could get a band aid or drink of water at anyone’s house.

Today, I rarely see children gathering in the neighborhood for a pick-up game of ball or hopscotch. During vacations, most are away at camps or classes. When home, their parents hover over with worry, fearing that they’ll be hit by a car driving fast down our windy street or even kidnapped. Instead of letting them explore a nearby trail on their own, they accompany them on prescribed walks. No one would be permitted to play Red Rover, Red Rover across the road.

My biggest fear is fire. Last summer, my partner Ray, organized a fire watch for we were afraid of someone accidentally setting off a blaze in the dry canyon edging our property. Fortunately there were no incidents nor was water consumption limited but I fear a warming planet may make it happen one day. I empathize with residents of California who lost everything to fires that whipped through their neighborhoods. I”m grateful to live in the northwest where it is not as hot, and hope we will have enough water and resources in the future to care for thousands of people flowing to Portland to escape unlivable heat.

In my twenties, I lived near Harvard University in Cambridge, MA. In many ways, shopping was easier then than it is now, for vendors still hawked wares up and down our street. The milkman delivered dairy goods, baby diapers arrived and were taken away twice weekly. The Salvation Army’s band entertained us as it marched by our front steps. Trucks piled high with fresh fruits would be followed by one peddling pots and pans. And of course, everywhere we went the ice-cream truck jingled its tune. My favorite vendor, however, was the knife sharpener. For a few coins, scissors and knives were kept dangerously sharp. Now, I depend on Ray to do the job when he has time. I’m too lazy to take them to a hardware store for sharpening. I used to walk to the grocery, meat market, hardware store, and I took sheets and shirts to the laundry where they were washed and ironed for such a reasonable sum that everyone, even college students, could afford to do so.

Today, most of us drive to mega stores, park a block away from the front door. But, I noticed that there is a revival of inbound services. Not only can you get pizza delivered, but groceries and entire cooked or uncooked oven-ready meals can be delivered to your front door. Working adults are happily pampered by tip seeking deliverymen who make their lives easier. They certainly have benefited my wheelchair bound son.

I am, however, still a holdout waiting for the knife sharpener to come around. My scissors are dull.

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Do share some of your fond memories from childhood and contrast them with how you live today.

nostalgia

Mentally iIl Homeless Youth

Change

Mental Illness is a changing tableau with twists, swoops and buds that blossom over time

Acrylic on Canvas/ black frame/ $ 299

The following section is an excerpt from the section on Mental Illness in Over the Peanut Fence, scheduled for release in late September. A book signing event is planned for a Sunday in October. I’ll keep you posted on the date.

Mental Illness

“My early training in mental heath was during the time large state hospitals were emptied of their patients. Simultaneously, government subsidies were cut. Community health centers, were inadequate to care for the needs of so many seriously ill people, ushered in an era of in- creased homelessness.

The Canadian Journal of Adolescent Psychiatry conducted a random study of 60 youth in homeless shelters and found 50 percent of them to be clinically symptomatic or with a drug ad- diction problem.116 The study, one among many, provides evidence that mental illness undermines problem-solving abilities needed for survival. Only recently have social agencies for the homeless started addressing psychiatric diseases, but it is becoming a growing area of concern. The Canadian teen population mirrors that of the United States, so I include the following information as an approach to combat hopelessness.

There is conflicting evidence about whether lack of shelter undermines hope. Therapists believe that without optimism, there is suffering, which in severe cases can lead to suicide. Youths with stable housing are more likely to feel hopeful and able to perceive themselves as resilient, are less lonely, and engage in fewer life-threatening behaviors. Those in unstable living situations are more likely to have bleak, hopeless attitudes, becoming easily depressed and in need of psychiatric intervention. Counselors face a conundrum, for unless a mentally ill youth walks into their clinic seeking help, there is not much that can be done for a disturbed adolescent wandering the streets.

Homeless adolescents never use fee-based services and only rarely use those that are free. Hospital emergency rooms are the path of least resistance when health concerns are serious. Since most teens consider themselves to be more mentally stable than they actually are, the bur- den falls on emergency room and clinic practitioners to identify those who are unstable and offer services beyond the presenting illness.

U. S. statistics report that 20 to 25 percent of people who live on the streets suffer from severe mental illness as compared to 6 percent of the general population. Psychological problems contribute to an inability to develop stable relationships, and the youths often push away care- givers, family members and friends willing to assist.

Emotional problems often lead to physical disease because of neglectful health practices and inadequate hygiene. Skin diseases, exposure to tuberculosis or HIV, and respiratory diseases are among those commonly seen in emergency room settings. Minorities are especially vulnerable. Those who are mentally ill are prone to self-medicate by using readily available street drugs.

Contrary to popular belief, once identified and contacted by a health provider, mentally ill adolescents tend to accept treatment willingly. Housing, though a first concern of runaways and caseworkers, does not give adequate care for emotionally challenged teens in need of a trusting counselor. Those from impoverished backgrounds also may need lessons in personal hygiene, finances and how to navigate the health care system. Emotional problems are not easily mended and require treatment and supportive services over many years. Education, employment, money management and peer support need to be integrated into medical and psychological treatment plans.

Mental problems tend to accelerate in the late teens and early 20s, causing impulsive acts and irrationality. But oftentimes, symptoms are visible earlier, well before the youth gets into serious trouble and leaves home. Family physicians and parents need to intervene when distress is first suspected, for once the teen has left home it’s harder to get help. Homeless youth are wary and tend to distrust the medical system because they don’t think they will be taken seriously. They believe adult solutions are likely to involve pills being thrown at them rather than helping them understand the root cause of their problems. When sent to mental wards that serve a mixed- age group, they don’t feel free to discuss their problems. Adolescents need to be in environments among their peers, and not with mature adults.

It is important to remember that treatment only works if the person is ready and not compelled. Culturally specific counseling of a nontraditional nature that prepares them to go through the stages of change has a better chance of succeeding. For instance, a depressed LGBTQ youth might need peer mentors who are encouraging, while an anorexic teen might be aided by someone who overcame an eating disorder. A learning disabled child might benefit from tutoring. In each case, the counseling goal is to motivate the youth to want to overcome their dysfunction and develop a personalized action plan.”

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Lovelessness

The following excerpt from Over the Peanut Fence discusses one of the causes of youth homelessness. Lack of love is devastating to a child’s physical and mental growth. Over the Peanut Fence is in its final pre-production stage and will be for sale late September. An signing party is being organized for October. I’ll keep you posted.

Lovelessness

“As I wander around Portland, observing dozens of teens hanging out, I wonder who will have a productive, happy life and which ones will fail. If you’re like me, you do not enjoy having homeless youths take over neighborhood parks or sit on public sidewalks begging for a handout as you pass. If you’re like me, you don’t enjoy descending the stairwell of city-center parking garages that smell like urine. And, if you are like me, you feel intimidated when a gang of youths walks down the street making lewd remarks.

Helping these adolescents is important, not only for their sake, but selfishly for mine. This is why I questioned whether street youth were permanently damaged. I wanted to know if they lost all sense of morality. What I discovered was that antisocial behavior is aimed at society at large and not their own peer group. Most follow a strict set of rules that define street-life values. They care for friends by sharing food, cigarettes, information and a code against “ratting”.

These are hopeful behaviors because they can be exploited and transferred to society at large. My questioning continued. When did they acquire a willingness to help others? Did lack of parental love affect their behavior? I had always assumed love is instinctual and that every newborn is a recipient of warm parental care. Without it, I reasoned, a helpless infant could never survive. I now realize feelings of love and responsibility are not a given.

The majority of us are fortunate in that we are surrounded by affectionate parents and relatives. As infants, we were held and cherished. And as adults, we find partners and form bonds based on fondness and mutual respect. But what happens to children who are never caressed or told they are special? What are the long-term effects of never having been touched or cuddled? What befalls those who are abandoned, left on doorsteps or placed in cribs and not attended to when they cry or their diapers need to be changed? . . . . . . . .

“Between 1962 and 1967, the HighScope Perry Preschool Project, in conjunction with nurse-family practitioners ran another insightful study conducted with three and four year old African- American children.28 The school had an average child-teacher ratio of 6:1 and their curriculum included decision-making and problem-solving activities as well as physical movement. Program directors asked parents to participate in weekly visits designed to bring them into the education process.

The project is important because it followed the children until the age of forty, proving the effectiveness of early intervention. In-depth analysis enabled educators to design successful curriculums. The study concluded that “without repeated acts of love, a child’s brain doesn’t make the growth hormone needed for proper mental and physical development.” The child is left scarred and permanently affected. Their stress levels are high, setting the stage for elevated cholesterol levels, cardiovascular disease, metabolic syndromes and other conditions that pose serious health risks.

Even small insults of shame and rejection can impact a youngster’s health. Adults who say “I can’t believe you would embarrass me like that,” or “You Idiot! Who do you think you are?” hurt the child and affect the child’s self-esteem. Many children act out by being cruel to animals, setting fires, taking drugs or simply withdrawing into themselves. Warmth and love are crucial for a child’s well-being.

Zach’s story is a good example of the importance of attachment. Though often neglected and occasionally abused, he was loved by his parents. When they were high on drugs or alcohol he was occasionally smacked and at times not fed, yet those instances were not as important in the long-run as knowing he was wanted. Since he belonged to an extended family that lived nearby, when the situation became intolerable he found shelter with relatives. This minimal amount of support during difficult times helped him grow into a caring person. Those who have never been the recipient of affection are not so fortunate.

Search for Community

Search for Community

Between 1870 and 1920, eleven million people migrated from rural to urban America. Today, only two percent live on farms or ranches. Due to industrialization, homogeneous towns disbanded and city dwellers had to find ways to connect. They joined churches and animal clubs like the Lions, Elks and Moose, and participated in business/charity associations like Rotary. The upper classes became members of exclusive clubs and joined Masons, Shriners and Junior Leagues.

My immigrant grandmother met women in a corner knit shop where needles clicked in time with their mouths as they shared local gossip. Krewes sponsored balls and floats in New Orleans and New Years Associations contributed to the Mummers Day Parade in Philadelphia. Youth organized themselves in social club or gangs which offered protection as well as a sense of belonging. Sports and Gentlemen’s clubs, those organized around nationality of origin, and unions made it tolerable to live next to strangers who traveled silently on subways and trolleys.

As years passed, many of the clubs lost their luster, finding it difficult to recruit young members. But though membership declined, the need for community hasn’t changed. Living in cities distant from relatives and childhood friends, electing not to be married, it is easy to feel lonely and isolated.

Most of us are aware of some of the ways internet brings people together. Sites like match.com promise love connections. LinkedIn allows participants to scan profiles and send “Connect with Me” notices. Tweets, Instagram feeds and Facebook are avenues for friends and acquaintances to stay in touch, share interests and seek advice. But, though friends spend hours communicating on-line, it cannot allow them to touch or look into eyes while sharing a meal. You cannot notice a person’s flush when they say something awkward or sexy. And a friend recuperating in a hospital can not be helped or comforted from a computer as they can from a warm bodied friend.

Face-to-face relationships are as important as they ever were. The way people form friendships and develop community today is a reflection of changes brought about by the economy and population growth interacting with the internet.

Snowbirds and Nomads: A growing number of retired people travel south for the winter and north in the summer. Wealthier snowbirds have condos in gated golf communities or travel in forty-foot RVs, camping seasonally at resorts or state parks. They party and join fellow campers who own dune buggies, horses and kayaks. Over several years deep friendships develop, forming community based on shared interests.

A burgeoning subset of seasonal travelers, are less affluent nomads living in second hand RVs, school busses, pickup trucks and sedans. They drive the highways to reach mega-lots outside of warehouses run by Amazon, Walgreens and Walmart, where they are employed seasonally. They may harvest sugar beets or sell Christmas trees and pumpkins at roadside stands.

These wanderers are middle class Americans who do not have enough money to retire. The Great Recession of 2007 wiped out their savings. Though many are educated, they can only find employment in low paying jobs that demand long hours of physical labor that is not enough to sustain them. Eventually they sell their possessions and take to the roads. They sleep in parking lots, truck stops and public camping areas in warm weather and reach out to family and friends when it turns cold.

Their way of life is more freeing than expected when they first embark on it. Fellow nomads are friendly and helpful. They use the internet to stay in contact off-season, sharing advice about jobs and places to camp. They pass the hat when someone’s vehicle needs repair, help them if they are ill, share meals, play cards and socialize. They enjoy their freedom, stay off the grid, use solar power and participate in community. Like gypsies, these wanderers develop an appreciation for adventure and escape from social norms. The lifestyle becomes more difficult when they can no longer lift a 50 pound bags or stand on their feet 10 hours a day.

Makers – A diverse group of inventors are drawn into affinity groups around art, electronic music, science, and technology. Maker fairs, held in most states, feature inventions and activities that take place in garages, museums and homes. Open to the public, they are attended by NASA, MakerBot Industries, Shop Bot, 3D systems, Kickstarter, Autodesk, Instructables, universities, etc. 3 D printing is the latest explosion along with robotics, electronics, metal fabrication and computer controlled technology, though woodworking and aboriginal skills remain in the mix. Makezine.com is a good place to go to find out what’s happening.

Intel, General Electric, science centers and education institutions sponsor maker spaces. But a great many more are organized by individuals with a desire for community. Makers are more than hobbyists. They are multi-age inventors who enjoy the diversity of talents and skills gathered together to execute someone’s project. Maker spaces encourage grown-ups to play with leading edge technology. They construct everything from terrariums, music venues, computer designed knitted ski masks and t-shirts with electronic messages to mechanical-art sculptures. They allow those with unfulfilled potential (often college drop-outs) to show off and have a chance of attracting investors.

Habitat for Humanity is an organization that is built around community. Volunteers along with the future homeowner, lend expertise and muscles to construct affordable housing. Those who stay involved for years, going from project to project, form tight friendship groups. Building a habitat house reminds me of they way the Amish gather to raise a barn. It is a a joyful event with a tangible outcome that puts smiles on the new owner’s face.

Meetup.com—More than a web site, “meetup” it is a movement that connects like-minded people to small affinity communities. I belong to Nine Bridges, a writers group promoted on meetup.com. My group is one of hundreds over a five state region that meet weekly, giving twelve people the opportunity to read from their work and receive criticism.

Meetup categories range from outdoors & adventure, sports & fitness, photography, food & drink, music, film, LGBQ, Language & culture, Beliefs to Movements, Pets, Hobbies and Crafts, Fashion & Beauty. There are social and career & and business sites listed as well. Connecting is easy for those willing to leave their homes, computers and TVs to venture forth into the unknown.

Street Life – Homeless youth are also a communal lot, sharing much more than the sidewalk. They understand each other, for most left abusive home situations to seek safety and shelter on the streets. The young adults they meet are their friends, even if they only interact for only one day. Friends hang out, play games in parks and share survival skills. They couch surf at the homes of more those who have an apartment. They are loyal to a street code that prohibits tattling and promotes sharing. They lend money, food and drugs when they have them.

Older homeless denizens also share community, though members may be less healthy because of mental and physical illnesses developed from imbibing alcohol and drugs and living in inclement weather. They socialize on sidewalks, in parking lots and under freeways, sharing their stories and information about services and shelter. When given permanent lodging, they often miss their street buddies. I was on the board of a group called The Giving Tree that helped homeless people adapt to housing and saw first hand how depressed some become. While holding a weekly tea in a unit for elderly people, a woman jumped from a 6th story window. Suicide is not uncommon among the newly housed and insect infestations are rampant. To combat isolation we provided cooking, cleaning and art classes.

Social Clubs – Clubs pull young adults together for music, film, food and drinks. An example is the White Owl Social Club which features everything form live bands and comedy skits to movies shown with old fashioned projectors. Prices are moderate and stereo volume kept low to allow for conversation. Social clubs are more than a restaurant or bar. They are gathering sites for friends who share apartments and homes that are not large enough to accommodate a group. Pool and ping pong tables, bowling alleys and foosball provide a Chucky Cheese type experience for grown ups. Comfortable sofas, a fire pit, and laid back gathering areas make it easy to relax and deepen friendships.

Burners and Festivals- Many young adults spend summer months traveling from festival to festival engaged in a culture around music, art and community. Small Burning Man style festivals that operate throughout the world (China included) preach compassion and sharing over commercialism. Corporate logos are never displayed and money doesn’t change hands. People assist with the work of setting up, cleaning up and feeding attendees. Resources are willingly shared. One camp (a friendship group) might operate a misting tent, while others dispense food, provide entertainment, psychological advice, showers and off-beat clothing. Technology, art, bright lights and colors flash from bicycles, floats and sculptures. Dancers twirl fire while techno-music plays until dawn. What makes Burning Man unique is that the camps are composed of people who value creativity and the arts. Friends meet year round to work on festival projects.

My son occupies a transmission shop that he converted into living, office and shop spaces. Friends gather weekly to implement techno-art projects for festivals like Burning Man. They have fun while maintaining community. Festivals provide them with deadlines, goals and purpose. They think of themselves as family and support each other throughout the year.

Senior Centers – Day centers operating throughout America bring the elderly. into community. They provide information and connection to local health, housing and legal services, yet most are a great deal more than counseling centers. They offer recreational activities, classes, lectures and discussion groups and a place to lounge. Some operate in conjunction with service organizations like Meal on Wheels. The YMCA, Urban League, Native American Family Centers, Latino Networks and private non-profits are actively involved. Their goal is to kindle joy and make retirement purposeful. I’ve given talks at senior centers in wealthy suburbs and in poor neighborhoods. What I’ve witnessed in general, is that those who participate are active, age well and enjoy being with a community of peers.

There are a great many ways people participate in community. Gangs, political organizations, veterans associations, food and craft groups, church committees, professional and exercise clubs, and shared office workspaces unite people by common activity, affinity and proximity. Co-housing is one I hope to explore another time

References:

Kahn Academy website (2018)America moves to the cityKahn Academy. References: retrieved from website. https://www.khanacademy.org/humanities/us-history/the-gilded-age/gilded-age/a/america-moves-to-the-city

Merchant,N. (2017) Feel like you don’t fit in? Here’s how to find where you truly belong. ideas.Ted.Com. retrieved from. https://ideas.ted.com/feel-like-you-dont-fit-in-heres-how-to-find-where-you-truly-belong/

Agrawal. M. (2018) Community is Everything: How to Build Your Tribe. Inc. retrieved from https://www.inc.com/miki-agrawal/community-is-everything.html

Bruder,J. Nomadland Surviving America in the Twenty-First Century (2017) W.W. Norton & Company, New York