Freedom to Fail

Rock Creek AwakensRock Creek Awakens – Children need to be able to roam through rich environments like this acrylic landscape by Marilynne

Freedom to Fail!
One October day, while sitting in my museum office, I heard shouting and the sound of feet running towards my door. Needless to say, I was alarmed, and vaulted from my chair imagining that there had been an accident. Instead, I was greeted at the door by a mother and teacher who were extremely excited and wanted to share incredibly good news. A miraculous event had occurred during their visit; Jenny, a six year old autistic child, spoke for the first time.

The women had been exploring my small Lansing science center with their class of disabled students, but because they had several youngsters to oversee, their attention was turned elsewhere and the young girl had freedom to explore the exhibit hall on her own. She had stopped before an oscilloscope, picked up the microphone, and in order to see the wiggly voice patterns, started making sounds. Jenny became mesmerized with the moving lines and repeated several words over and over again. Without pressure to perform, the child had felt comfortable playing with the display in her own way. Eventually, the adults went to find her, and from a distance observed what was happening. They were so amazed and excited that they immediately ran to give me their wonderful news.

The teacher later shared that she had forgotten about the research that had been conducted with autistic children suggesting use of an oscilloscope to help patients vocalize. The day’s dramatic event reminded her of the study and she said that she planned to requisition a scope for her classroom in order to integrate it into a therapy approach with several other students.

The story does not end here, however. Mother, teacher and child returned to the museum several weeks later, and immediately dovetailed to the oscilloscope. The child was placed in front, handed the microphone, and told to talk into it, while the adults stood behind observing with high expectations of a repeat performance. Instead, they saw what some of you might expect . . . silence. And though they were disappointed in the child’s reaction, it fascinated me for it provided insight into human behavior that reinforced some of my assumptions about learning.

What did this incident teach me? First, it confirmed my belief that children need a rich variety of environments through which to roam. Secondly, it corroborated my opinion that youngsters need freedom to make choices away from the eyes of overly anxious adults.

What I like most about science centers and children’s museums is that they provide a safe environment for self-exploration. They are designed to enable visitors to learn in their own way on their own time scale. Parents do not need to hover over children and teachers are not charged with explaining what should be learned. A child exploring the interactive displays, experiments and forms his or her own conclusions. Very quickly the young visiter learns that it OK to be wrong, no one is watching or testing. I suspect that the right to fail is a gift that most of us would enjoy.

Montessori schools utilize a similar approach in their classrooms. Their educational materials and challenges are organized in such a way that the room becomes child, rather than teacher centered. When each student is ready to proceed to the next level, the teacher demonstrates how to use equipment, grapple with new concepts, and complete exercises, but then the child is left alone to experiment or not. Once the task is mastered, the child often becomes inventive and employs the material in personal ways. New subjects are only introduced as the youngster develops skill and knowledge of previously presented challenges. All materials that have been mastered can be used and reused as the child desires. This method gives students freedom to roam throughout the classroom, choosing to advance according to their own wishes and developmental time line.

I remember my daughter zipping through math manipulatives as fast as they were presented. She perceived them as detective problems to be solved and looked forward to ever more demanding puzzles. My son took a different approach than barreling through the material. Once he mastered the fraction and bead boards in a way that demonstrated understanding, he went on to construct high rise buildings and bridges with the pieces. Both approaches were encouraged within this open ended learning environment.

When my children were young, I did not have a museum or classroom at hand, so my home became a place where I developed a similarly organized education playground. Influenced by Montessori’s approach, our basement space was thoughtfully and purposefully arranged. Shelves were filled with toys and games selected to develop math and language competency and analytic abilities by engaging in a variety of activities. There was never a need to sit still for long periods of time so they did not get bored and tired of hearing a talking head. Since the children were always free to choose what they wanted to do, without realizing it they improved their analytic and conceptual abilities and small and large motor skills. Their explorations helped them become more creative people as they imagined new ways of using their toys. As a mother I was pleased because they also learned to care for their materials by returning them to the shelf before proceeding to another activity.

Children’s and science museums are conceived as large scale exploration centers, making them lots of fun to visit. They mimic schools by having an educational bent, but differ in that their philosophy promotes a hands-on pedagogical approach to learning. Unfortunately entrance fees are expensive and trips to museums are not always practical, so it is up to the caregiver to provide exciting educational opportunities for the children in their charge. Families who want to supplement institutional visits need to focus on ways of stimulating their children’s sensory awareness, feeding their intellect and evoking emotional responses around social issues. But possibilities surround us everyday. As Sesame Street’s Grover Monster says; all you need to do is open the door to everything in the whole wide world museum.

I would love to hear your thoughts about educating children. Please comment below.

Art work is always for sale. Contact me at marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.

Reference:
Grover and the Everything in the Whole Wide World Museum
by Norman Stiles, Daniel Wilcox, Joe Mathieu (Illustrator)

Humming in the Background

city-scaper

Changing City Scape- by Marilynne 

As wooded areas become high rise condominiums, noise levels and pollution escalate. Garbage, mail trucks and automobiles flow through residential areas from before dawn ‘till late at night. Music blasts from open windows, while rooftop parties contribute to the the din of carousing revelers.

Humming in the Background

In my house there is a running debate about background sounds. Thinker craves music or TV voices humming softly, filling the room’s silence, while Forceful prefers to live in a home devoid of extraneous noise. It is not that he does not like music, but when he listens to it he gives it complete attention. “If it is not quiet then I can not hear myself think,” he complains.

Geeker wants loud Metallica music playing throughout the house, claiming it is a necessary background sound for doing homework. Forceful, as you might imagine, threatens to move out if the noise stays booming . . . a problem easily solved with ear buds. So now Geeker wears them at what is probably ear damaging decibels.

Thinker is an artist and always paints with the radio on, tuning out her immediate surroundings, oblivious to the rest of the house with its extraneous noises. Forceful is also an artist but works without electronically produced sound. He is very sensitive to what is going on in the neighborhood…dogs barking, birds chirping, cars rolling by, people walking and talking, etc. He is always berating Thinker for not hearing things. Thinker thinks that Forceful is much too tuned into neighborhood happenings and gossip. “So what if the garbage truck goes by? Ignore it.” she advises.

Sleep-time presents other issues. Thinker’s daughter, Dreamer, turns on a fan or some artificially produced soothing sound to help her fall asleep. She also trained her children to go to bed listing to white noise. Thinker prefers to fall asleep hearing background voices that are so quiet that the words are indistinguishable. The TV or radio tuned quietly does not disturb her as long as the words don’t make sense. She has tried concert music but that keeps her awake because she pays too much attention to what is playing. Forceful, of course, wants silence so he can hear the owls and coyotes howling.

Audiologists have been complaining for some time that children are listening to music that is too loud. A generation of young adults is now dealing with severe tinnitus, vertigo and hearing loss. Did you know that wearing headphones over 2 hours a day can damage hearing according to recent study by the “Centers for Disease Control.” Loud music also has other ramifications? Because of loud music youth are less tuned into each other and the world around them. They are non-communicative at concerts and become isolated when tuned into their ear plugs. Now that cell phone texting has taken the place of telephone calls, life is more complicated, for children listen to music while sending messages at the same time. Trying to get the attention of someone who is listening to music on their ear phones or gazing at their smart phone is not easy.

I became curious about what decibels I hear in a typical walk-about-day. According to Marshall Chasen at the Center for Human Performance and Health, a normal conversation taking place between 3-5 feet is at 60-70 dB, piano practice is the same. The dial tone of a telephone is at 80 dB, a power saw at 110 dB. Pain begins at 125 dB which is at the level of a pneumatic riveter. A violin has a very high decibel rating at 84-95 dB. Symphonic music peaks at 120 dB but it does not usually last very long at that volume so the public is safe. However, musicians in the orchestra often experience hearing loss due to extended hours of playing. Amplified rock music at 4-6 ft is 120 dB and goes to a peak of 150 dB, a damaging number.

The environmental protection agency recommends that neighborhoods be no louder than 55 dB during waking hours. Prolonged exposure of 85 dB and higher will result in hearing loss so protection is advised. At 90 dB (example-lawn mower, router, snowmobile or hair dryer) you are taking a risk if listening to the sound for more than two hours, so ear plugs are advised. Rock concerts? According to the center for Disease Control and Prevention, exposure for more than 30 seconds can cause loss.

Chronic hearing loss is irreversible. Researchers recommend that noise canceling headphones be used instead of buds and that headphones not be used for more than one hour a day at levels below the 60% of maximum volume. This does create a problem for image conscious teens who find headphones a bit more costly, large and cumbersome.

You might be interested to know that nearly 13 percent of children have noise-induced hearing loss? To deal with this poor statistic some establishments are making changes to the noise level inside their pubs and restaurants. One recent response to painful and prolonged decibel defying sounds shows employers of dance halls handing out sound reducing headphones to staff. There are even concert venues that distribute ear plugs or, for a rental fee, ear buds that bring music directly to you, eliminating background sounds and enabling the concert to be heard at a lower decibel rate. However, beware! Because ear buds are placed directly into the ear they can boost the sound signal as much as six to nine decibels.

This summer when the concert series gets in full swing, be sure to pack your ear plugs. It only takes one hour of listening to a concert that is over 105 DB to damage your ears. Even MTV is telling people to “Turn it Down!” With a bit of foresight you can enjoy your summer and your favorite band and still be able to hear the birds in the forest the next day.

Please let me know your experience with hearing loss by responding to this blog.

Art work is always for sale at eichingerfineart.com.

If you want more information about the decibel level of both occupational and non-occupational sounds go to www.http://e-a-r.com/pdf/jhearingcons/noie_Naf.xls.

Living Vicariously

Girl with Pearls – Her eyes are covered as she goes through life unable to absorb the overlapping universes of each individual.

Living Vicariously at the Center of the Universe

Anatole France once said, “Even a little dog is the center of his own universe.” These words were posted on wall of my college dorm room challenging me to remember that everyone sees the world from their own perspective. The only way I could enter another’s universe was to live with them vicariously through imagination. A few of my favorite actors and actresses, like Meryl Streep and Tom Hanks, have strong empathetic personalities that make them able to slip inside another person’s skin, so why shouldn’t I try?

The first time I realized that I was truly living vicariously was when my first born was nine months old. As a spring baby, he had never experienced snow, so when the first flakes descended I bundled him up and went outside to introduce him to the falling flakes. At first he became very quiet, looking around the yard in awe, eventually reaching out to catch the elusive patterns with his chubby hands. It was then that I knew that with his birth an additional gift had been given to me. His existence was going to enable me to relive childhood and expand my own universe as he developed his.

I was fortunate in having six children, five biological and one adopted child in later life. With my oldest son I experienced strength and vigor. His fantasy world of Dungeons and Dragons held all of the intrigue of a hollywood spectacular and I became captured by the intensity that he and his friends exhibited when playing. His earnestness permeated his waking moments and carried on to other activities in later life. I remember visiting his first apartment at a time he was learning to play tennis. Signs were taped to his bathroom mirror that said things such as, “I am a winner. I focus and am not distracted.” Whether learning to fly a plane, play guitar or ride a bicycle, he does it with total physical and emotional involvement, and each time, though not an expert, he becomes competent. Through him I sensed what it is like to jump into the fray wholeheartedly.


Shortly after my son’s birth I had a daughter who inspired me with her feistiness and astute brain. She understands psychological spheres in great depth, yet sees humor in most situations she encounters, enabling her to gain perspective on life’s unexpected happenings. When she was only seventeen she left college for a year to accept a job as a purchasing agent for a bank and its numerous branches. Sales people would call on her with bribes of gifts and luncheon invitations. She would laugh about their offerings, and demonstrated to me what it takes to stand firm and act ethically in the face of shady business practices. She did this without damaging an ongoing working relationships.

My second daughter helped me to hear more clearly. She has perfect pitch and while practicing the violin I knew that I was listening to a pure note. When she sang there was a smile in her bearing and it was as though the windows opened to spring flowers even on a dark, dank day. Since I was born unable to carry a tune, she gave me insight into what it was like to have expansive auditory senses and experience pleasure from sound. Her access to the world was a path that was foreign to me, but I rode piggyback in order to feel the vibrations of her emotion.

Empathy and caring were gifts my fourth child carried into the birthing room. From a young age this daughter was able to see into the souls of animals. She bleeds inside when an creature is ill and spends hours working to help it survive. With her tales I feel happiness, anxiety and sorrow as she adopts various animals into her life. Her sensitivity produces strong emotions, for she has never erected a protective barrier between herself and the suffering of others. She enables me to see frailty in the animal kingdom and continuously demonstrates that it is important to pay attention to small cues.

Number five offspring, a son, once told me, “ You and Dad work too hard. I’m not going to be like that.” And he is not. He does work with fervor, but is equally engaged with friends in creative activities. He embraces playful endeavors that combine artistry with technology, making him a master tinkerer. My son welds, wires, creates electronic light and sound shows, and fixes engines when not programing computers. Through him I have learned the value of play and of being with friends, getting rid of the guilt that came from having a stubborn work ethic. I vicariously enjoy his ever expanding universe as his circle of friends and unusual projects continue to grow.

The sixth child is a young man who entered my life when he was nineteen. Having lived a difficult childhood, he overcame horrendous beginnings because of an innate desire to survive. He demonstrated that people of every socioeconomic background act in their own self-interest when placed in dire situations, but he also showed me that when given a chance, inner strength can overcome adversity. His appreciation for the assistance he received over the past years has made him generous to those less fortunate. This young man believes that everyone should have a chance to prove his or her self worth, and now so do I.

My family and friends are good models for the theory of an ever expanding cosmos. Each time I vicariously enter their centers to be surrounded by their universes, my understanding of the natural world swells. My blinders are continuously widened when imagining myself in their heads, trying to see through their eyes. My greatest gifts have come from those who over the years let me share the depths of their souls before climbing on their shoulders to look further afield.

Please share your own stories about those who have allowed you to visit the center of their universe.

Artwork is always for sale. Go to eichingerfineart.com for more information.

Unusual Family Vacation

 

 

Is this they habitat that Rhinos lived in during the Miocene?
Is this they habitat that Rhinos lived in during the Miocene?   The Painted Desert by Marilynne

 

Rhinos lived 14.5 million years ago but were not there when the dinosaurs roamed.
Rhinos lived 14.5 million years ago but were not there when the dinosaurs roamed. Rhinoceros by Marilynne

Bones, dem Bones, dem Dino Bones.

Today’s Rhinoceros are relatively new animals in the evolutionary chain of events but similar to those that lived during the Miocene era 14.2 million years ago.  Though old, they are much at the same now as they were then and more related to human being than dinosaurs.  Dinosaur’s lived over 167,000 million years ago so fully understanding how they lived is still a mystery. There is a great deal of new research being conducted about dinosaurs, with mounting  evidence showing that their ancestors may be related to birds rather than mammals. People visit Zoos to see Rhinos. Why not visit a dino-dig to find ancient fossil treasures?

Wouldn’t it have been exciting to be the teenager who found a Duck-billed Hadrosaur mummy in North Dakota in 2007? Imagine discovering a dinosaur with skin so that scientists don’t have to guess about the outer covering of this great extinct mammal.

Dinosaur explorations often change our view of history. I always imagined myself on a dig-team, becoming famous for finding a missing link. When my children were young I thought it would be fun to take them on a dig to the Dakotas or Texas as part of our family’s vacation. I never followed through though, so now I have to be satisfied by visiting museums and reading about interesting discoveries.

When my granddaughters were still in elementary school I once took them on an excursion to the Burke Museum in Seattle. The girls were excited by the prospect, grabbing notebooks and pencils along with a small reference book for the trip. Once in the museum they traveled from display to display, writing down information and drawing a pictures just as their research father might have done. This visit made me realize how fearless, curious and participatory young children are when given a chance to explore. They often lead the way to learning.

Pre-history is interesting for young and old alike. A while ago I learned of a fossil mammal found in Europe that is connected to South Dakota suggesting that there was a trans-Atlantic route about 66 million or so years ago. The keen eyes of paleontologist Frans Smet of St. Mary’s College in California discovered a tiny marsupial mammal tooth embedded in rock in Maastricht, Netherlands. When it was scanned in an electron microscope, the connection was made to North America and the historical timeline as the world knew it changed by 50+ million years.

Paleontologists now believe that T-Rex was a lean, mean, warm-blooded hunter who only attacked large prey and was not a scavenger as previously thought. He was agile and used a lot of energy, meaning that he needed a lot of food. Other research shows that most dinosaurs were vegetarian rather than meat-eaters and my oh my… they were sexy. It is thought that flying dinosaurs actually had more elaborate mating displays than modern-day peacocks. The fin-backed Pterosaurs and Pelycosaurs developed elaborate headrests and sails in order to attract a mate.

Did dinosaurs die 65 million years ago because of an asteroid impact? New research suggests that a bad climate caused by a series of volcanic eruptions was slowly killing off the mammals. “The [asteroid] impact was the coup de grace,” Paul Renne, a geologist at the University of California, Berkeley, said in a statement for National Geographic. USC earth scientist David Bottjer confirms that the earth “just got sick” during the Triassic-Jurassic extinction and food became scarce. By looking at rare development of aragonite crystals on the ocean floor, he postulates that the slow dying period had something to do with the ocean’s chemistry. The coral reefs of that period are related to those in our oceans today and by understanding why they died we might learn more about the death that is now occurring in reef populations around the world. Is our earth getting “sick”? Will mankind die out as did the dinosaurs?

There are several dinosaur extinction theories but the most prevalent speaks of five major mass extinctions, the largest occurring 250 million years ago in the Permian-Triassic era. Almost 95% of all species were eradicated at that time. Some scientists say a comet or asteroid collided with earth, others postulate that a flood volcano causing oxygen loss in the seas was the reason. Some investigators have had theories about thinning atmospheric oxygen levels and now even this theory is questioned. Such are the twists of science where each discovery causes a new hypothesis to be made.
Can understanding geology and paleontology help us with current issues of global warming? Scientists look at these ancient creatures and how they lived, at changes in land mass and atmospheric and oceanic conditions for clues that can help in predicting the fate of the earth over the next millennium.

According to Peter Dodson at the University of Pennsylvania, there are great times ahead for dinosaur hunters. He claims that paleontology will be a good career because new discoveries are increasing by 10-20% a year. So…if those visits to museums, digging for dino-bones in toys, and reading books spark an interest in your child or grandchild, you may want to fan the flame. With summer quickly approaching, participating in a excavation might be the perfect vacation.

Art work is always for sale. Go to eichingerfineart.com for more information.
Want to know more? Go to:
http://www.sciencedaily.com/news/fossils_ruins/dinosaurs/ – for the latest research about dinosaurs.
http://www.ucmp.berkeley.edu/tertiary/miocene.php -Miocene era.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/13/130212--chicxulub-asteroid-dinosaurs-volcano-mass-extinction-environment-science/ – about dinosaur extinction.
https://www.museumofwesternco.com/dino-digs/ – for family expeditions in Colorado.
http://www.paleoadventures.com/dinosaur-dig-site-tours.html – for family expeditions in South Dakota.
http://www.wyodino.org/dig-site-tours/ – for family expeditions in Wyoming.
http://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/dinosaurs-living-descendants-69657706/?no-ist=&page=4 – Dinosaur connection to birds.

Smiling Anger – a disconnect

First Fight First Fight by Marilynne Eichinger

Smiling Anger

When I was younger, I went to a counselor who asked me, “Why do you always smile when you are angry or sad?” I did not realize that I had such a disconnect between my emotions and expression of them. After observing myself over time, I started to see that I even giggled occasionally when I had to express a negative opinion. My smile was a way of taking back the argument that expressed my feelings because I was afraid of the reaction I would get. The result was that whoever I was talking to did not believe the intensity of my words, thinking I was joking, and therefore discounted my effort at honest communication. This disconnect between verbal and non-verbal cues made it difficult for even the most empathetic individual to interpret my intent.

It is only since the mid-1960s that non-verbal communication has come under academic scrutiny. The relation between these two emotional processes, the display and the perception of affect via verbal and non-verbal cues, are skills related to emotional intelligence according to an article written for the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. This type of intelligence includes the ability to identify, use, understand, and manage emotions.

The capacity to display and perceive emotions is learned in childhood by those who are fortunate enough to have parents who are accurate perceivers and clear expressers of feelings. As part of their parenting responsibilities they teach their children the expressive skills. Unfortunately a great many parents act in an opposite manner and train their offspring to inhibit emotional expression. Though not demonstrative, their children may still be able to understand others and relate to subtle displays of emotion. For example, if a child observes abusive parents, he or she may be acutely attune to what is going on because his or her life depends on it. Since these children learn to be stoic and hide their emotions, they are not quite as successful at communicating their message to others.

Children raised in a highly expressive environment often do not need to hone their perception skills to the same level as others. The psychology article gives as a metaphor the following example, “If everyone is shouting then one does not need to hear very well to get the message, but if everyone is whispering then one needs to develop excellent hearing.”

Ideas and theories about perception and communication are quite complex and confusing. The intensity, implications and applications of the impassioned situation all play a part. My sister has severe emotional problems. She now faces a life threatening disease but is not upset or willing to acknowledge the seriousness of her situation. She does become angry at the young doctors whom she thinks are just out to get money or experience in the operating room. In some ways I envy her because her lack of fear is calming, her mood is positive. However, talking with her to discuss a medical plan of action is extremely difficult, and she becomes angry and even lies if anyone takes away her ability to make decisions. Independence is something that she is not willing to give up easily. She is reluctant to have anyone not see her in a weakened state.

There is a dilemma in how to interact with a person who is not in tune with their situation or able and willing to speak honestly of their concerns. Those who grow up being taught to live in a dispassionate manner have a handicap to overcome when older. Every person, at one time or other, will have a need to lean on another’s shoulder. Illness and aging are part of life’s processes that can be accommodated when systems are in place to deal with them. Building relationships based on giving and accepting a helping hand take a long time to develop. Those not internally aware and able to express their own emotions find this type of friendship difficult to obtain. Being able to voice concerns is making a statement that says, “ I am comfortable with myself at this moment in time, and not afraid to share my true feeling.” Overall happiness depends as much on emotional intelligence as it does on intellect.

Art work is always for sale at eichingerfineart.com.

Do you want to know more?

http://apps.olin.wustl.edu/faculty/elfenbeinh/ElfenbeinEisenkraft2010.pdf– Displaying and perceiving Nonverbal Cues.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm – on Emotional Intelligence.

Creating Captains of Industry

1339830lTraining the next generation of entrepreneurs.

Creating Captains of Industry

The term Captain of Industry was first used in the United Kingdom during the Industrial Revolution to describe a business leader who contributed positively to his country while amassing a fortune. It indicated that he was able to increase productivity, create a great many jobs and expand new markets while remembering his duty to society as a philanthropist. The term resurfaced recently after the dot.com bubble burst and was used for those strong enough to survive the turmoil. People like Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft, Peter Thiel, venture capitalist and founder of Pay Pal, and Steve Jobs, founder of Apple Computer, are among those who fit into this category.

There have been books written about these men that analyze what makes them so special. One common thread is that they shared a rich and varied childhood that was filled with educational opportunities along with parental encouragement to be creative.

As a boy Steve Jobs and his father, a Coast Guard veteran and machinist, spent hours doing electronics in their family garage. Throughout his childhood Steve had the warmth and support of his family. He was an intelligent innovative thinker, often frustrated by the traditional school system. His enrollment at Reed College was short lived and he spent some of his college years traveling and looking for spiritual enlightenment. Working with Dad gave Steve mechanical skills, stick-to-it-ness, and the confidence that eventually propelled him to take his hobby to the work place. His spiritual quest helped him think in new ways. He and friend, Steve Wazniak, started Apple Computer together in his family’s garage.

Bill Gates, born in Seattle, also grew up in a warm supportive family. By the time he was 13 years old he was showing a strong interest in computer programming. He, too was an innovator, encouraged by his parents to strive for excellence and to be competitive. Bill enjoyed playing board games and athletics to win. His socially minded mother introduced him to charity work and took him with her when she volunteered. At the age of 15, Bill with his friend Paul Allen started a company called “Traf-o-Data.” The company netted
$20,000 and he wanted to drop out of school to continue in business. Dad insisted that he complete his education and after high school he enrolled at Harvard. Bill’s passion was always in the computer lab, and he and Paul Allen continued their friendship while he was in college, coming up with an idea that eventually became Microsoft.

Peter Thiel was born in Germany, moving to the US as a toddler. He is one of the most successful venture capitalists in the tech industry. Now president of investment company, Clarian Capital, he co-founded PayPal and was the first angel investor in Facebook. Thiel is a math genius who was a national level chess player at one time claiming that his competitiveness and intellectual skills were developed by playing the game. Peter is somewhat of a loner, is a self proclaimed Libertarian with a “Born to Win” attitude. As a Stanford University man he studied philosophy and law and worked on the Stanford Review with the same intensity that consumes our other Captains of Industry. Thiel is considered to be somewhat nerdy, loves intellectual discussions with friends, hangs around coffee shops, is a philanthropist and dreams of a utopian world where everyone lives to 150 years. He started PayPal with the belief that it would help society by giving people individual and financial freedom.

What are the attributes that these three men share and how do you encourage the children you know to develop them? Each child grew up in a stable and loving family that supplied a foundation of security and trust. All had parents who supported their intellectual development, making sure they were broadly educated, allowing for idiosyncrasies to blossom outside of the school system. The three men became involved in endeavors they were passionate about while they were still in high school.

Whether it was computers, electronics, or chess, they were encouraged to master what they were doing, and experienced great enjoyment from being totally immersed in their pastimes. They had the ability to concentrate, to persevere when there were failures, and believed strongly that they were winners. Each man developed deep friendships based on mutual interests and used their social network when starting their businesses. They were intelligent and encouraged by their families to think outside the box. Their families regularly involved them in discussions, introduced news topics, and helped them develop a social conscience.

As adults we can aide the children in our lives by helping them find their passion through involvement in science, math and the arts. Once a strong interest is shown, we can provide the tools and training necessary to develop their skills, encouraging them to concentrate and be tenacious so they can experience success that comes from mastery.

Passion breeds excitement, concentration, a willingness to become totally immersed, and to work hard. A by- product is the friendships developed with those who share interests. Once this type of passion is experienced, a person can not help but want the excitement it produces to continue. Lessons learned as a child will transfer to other endeavors throughout life.

Our role as family and friends is to supplement the school system. Since we know our own children better than anyone else, we can better help them find their passions, and set the stage for our next Captains of Industry.

Want to know more? Try the following references:

Steve Jobs by Walther Isaacson
http://www.wired.com/2012/07/ff_stevejobs/all/ The Story of Steve Jobs: An Inspiration or a Cautionary Tale? 2012

Bill Gates: a Biography by Michael B. Becraft
http://www.biography.com/people/bill-gates-9307520: Bill Gates Biography

Zero to One by Peter Thiel

Peter Thiel: Entrepreneur. Investor. Author. Former national chess master.

Peter Thiel: Entrepreneur.Investor.Author.Former national chess master. 2014

The Unsung Revolution

1353420l

A Pretty How Town
How has technology changed the balance of power within the family? The above 3-D painting is based on ee cumming’s poem written in response to cookie cutter suburbs built in the early 60’s. Today another revolution is happening inside the homes of these Pretty How Towns.

The Unsung Revolution
When I hear the word revolution I am not thinking about the Arab Spring or Syria. Instead I am focused on a revolution occurring inside most of my neighbor’s homes. What I have observed is the shift of power from father, to mother, to child. According to Webster’s definition, revolution refers to a fundamental change in power. That transition has definitely occurred within families, for the young dominate the household.

My great-grandparents worked along side their elders on the family farm. After several poor harvests they moved from their rural community outside of Riga, Latvia to Philadelphia, a city teaming with immigrants. To make ends meet their children sold newspapers and shined shoes. Earned income was handed over to their parents to help support their multi-generational family.

My own parent’s changed that pattern by living as a small nuclear unit. My father worked long hours to pay for household expenses while Mom stayed at home, available to chauffeur me to activities around town so I could reach “my potential.” Her word was law when it came to most daily activities. The money I earned from babysitting or being employed as a camp counselor stayed in my hands and was not turned over to support my family.

I behaved in a similar way with my own kids. When my children were under foot my husband worked and I, as suburban mom, drove them to activities and play dates. I made sure that homework was completed on time and that sporting and cultural events were part of their diet. We spent a great deal of face-to-face time together.

Now my children and their friends are parents and they operate in a changed landscape. With single, same sex and two working-parent families their generation has ongoing pressure to juggle daily responsibilities. To keep in touch with their children they rely heavily on electronics, and it is their use of technology that has spurred the latest revolution. Cell phone, text messaging, YouTube and Facebook rule!!! Even email has become cumbersome.

Adults contribute to the technology boom by paying outrageous mobile phone bills and annually upgrading home tablets and computers. By doing so they have inadvertently changed the power structures within their family unit. This article is my way of saying “buyer beware!” Know what is happening with your kin and learn how to manage both good and bad consequences.

In a seminar conducted by anthropologist Jan English-Luck titled “Technology and Social Change: The Effects on Family and Community,” results he collected from interviewing Silicon Valley families were shared with the audience. A typical story he related is illustrated by Sharon, a mother who is in constant contact with her children through computer and mobile phone. Dr. English-Luk claims that Sharon’s children feel safer, stay out longer and are more independent than earlier generations since they are in constant contact. Yet the family no longer operates as a unit. The only time parent and children were physically together over a two week period was when the anthropologist visited their home for an interview.

Today’s youth text in short blips rather than communicate more fully by phone or in person. Since texting is limited, it is rare that the entire story gets through. Voices portray emotion and face-to-face encounters give non-verbal cues that transmit between-the-line messages. Through texting it is possible to discover the location of your child, assuming that he is truthful, but you will never know what he or she thinking. Full descriptions of situations and events are rarely given. Gone are opportunities to develop verbal communication skills needed for future employment. And because letter writing and now e-mails are also becoming obsolete, the written word is suffering as well.

Benefits of cell phone use are many . . . contact, entertainment, safety, wellness help, and photography. But the hazards are also many. With the introduction of smart phones, parents started working around the clock answering texts and emails. Instead of paying attention to their children while at home they often find their mind wandering to the latest business or social communication. Conversations between family members are interrupted by a constant stream of incoming calls and messaging.

Since technology is the root cause of this power shift it is not surprising that role reversal occurs when the child knows how to use a new gadget better than the adult. When parents do not fully understand a device’s potential they find it difficult to control it’s use and as a result are faced with a host of new problems.    I’ll mention a few:

Bullying and harassment: text messages increasingly are sent by bullies
Memory: Use of cell phones is destroying short term memory.
Eye strain and digital thumb stress: Heavy use puts children at risk for early myopia.
Bacteria – Devices are not cleaned and are crawling with germs.
Sleep disorders – Teens tend to keep their phone on and are awaked during the night by incoming text messages.
Reliance – Impacts daily routine.
Dishonesty (39% of users 18-29 are not always honest about their location) they find it easy to cheat on tests.
Cost – Parents have sticker shock.
Health risks – Question of brain damage still unresolved.

Yes, technology is great and not going away! It is wonderful to have a computer for researching papers, scheduling activities, staying in touch with the news, finding directions and even getting gossip through one minute news blasts. Mobile devices can be helpful additions if precautions about their use and costs are taken into account and rules of etiquette established.

But it is good to remember that educating a child and maintaining relationships with family members still requires personal interaction. Face-to-face communication can not be replaced by gadgetry. Electronic transfer of information does not take the place of a hug or chat in the warmth of your home.

Staying in control rather than being controlled by your children requires both time and patience. Keeping parental power is the main way to pass on your values. To be a respected boss it is important to be on the job.

For more information about children and cell phone use go to:

http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/kids_cell_phones_staying_connected – kids and cell phone use.

Creativity: Nature or Nurture?

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Creativity:   Nature or Nurture?

Is creativity something that can be taught, or are a lucky few born with amazing talent? Are there genes that spark inventiveness or is imagination developed as a result of experience? These questions raise an age-old dilemma: nature or nurture?

While in my thirties, I took a class in creativity. It was designed to open minds to think inventively and to increase problem-solving abilities. For each session the instructor arrived with a packet of playful challenges and tests. One day, he brought in an old L’eggs stockings container that was shaped like an Easter egg with an opening in the middle. The class was instructed to close our eyes and imagine walking up and down the aisles of a supermarket as a stimulus for developing new uses for the plastic egg. Over eighty suggestions came bubbling forth, everything from using the container as a plant starter to making a musical rattle with dried peas inside.

The method our teacher so dramatically employed is known as Image Streaming (not to be confused with today’s computer use of the phrase). Behind closed eyelids it promotes the ability to recognize and describe mental images. To give it a try, start by concisely identifying a problem. Chose one where you understand all of the known surrounding facts. Now let your mind wander in and out of the problem by combining your subject with unrelated images. Lastly, find a place to relax and embrace your leisure time as an important part of the creative process. And voila!. . . you might be surprised at the outcome.

One of my university friends told me that when he gets stuck with a engineering problem he has a big lunch followed by an hour long nap. He claims that he usually opens his eyes to a new approach that leads around his obstacle. There are times when I like to take a trip in my car leading to nowhere in particular, letting my mind wander aimlessly while I pay attention to the road. On other occasions I set off for a long walk through the woods. Either activity suffices to give my ideas a boost.

MRI studies of grey matter structure show that during periods of relaxation, brains (especial those of creative people) are more active than previously imagined. In other words, your brain never really shuts down. Ferris Jabr, in a Scientific American article about why Your Brain Needs More Downtime writes, “Research on naps, meditation, nature walks and the habits of exceptional artists and athletes reveals how mental breaks increase productivity, replenish attention, solidify memories and encourage creativity.” These moments of relaxation are why so any people have their “ah ha” experiences while singing in the shower or shaving in front of a mirror. Putting concerns (and the computer) away and adding mental breaks to the day by walking in nature or meditating will add to your mental efficiency and ability to maintain attention.

Image streaming is generally practiced along with relaxation techniques for the purpose of challenging traditional thinking used in daily routines. We walk through a supermarket and buy food, never considering new uses for the products we see. Creative chefs do though. As they travel the isles their inner eye combines the herbs and produce they peruse in a never ending variety of palate pleasing mental images.

I am a strong believer that creative thinking processes can be learned or, at the very least, enhanced and am continually looking for tricks and practices to help me expand the visionary part of the formula. One game I have tried focuses on the mind’s ability to visualize. Over the holidays you might enjoy trying this exercise with your family. Start with closed eyes and imagine walking on hot coals. After a few minutes, describe the experience out loud, especially the sensory part of it. Then ask each person in turn act out what it is like to walk on hot coals. Have markers and paper nearby so everyone can draw a picture of the experience. These mental images are now captured for future contemplation.

Another goal of mine has been to improve my observation skills so that I have strong images to mingle when on a quest for a new idea. The following exercise works well with a mixed age group of children and adults. Place random objects in front of the participants and challenge them to look carefully at their shape, size and color. tell your party to ignore the original purpose of the objects and consider alternatives uses that can be silly and ridiculous, as well as practical. Anything goes when brainstorming. Children are very good at this exercise and often stimulate the adults to become more playful. Unfortunately, with age we find ourselves brainwashed by traditions that cause our minds to travel through narrow thought tunnels.

The arts provide a direct path to creativity. I once visited an art school in Cambridge, Massachusetts that held drawing classes for young children. For one exercise the staff made a large dark tunnel and placed it in the middle of the art studio. Each child was given a flashlight and asked to walk alone into the opening. Upon exiting, the student was immediately given a piece of paper and chalk and told to draw the experience. The images the children concocted were wonderful and varied, demonstrating how emotional experiences also influence outcome.

To help the young:  parents, grandparents and teachers can enrich the lives of their children by enrolling them in creative art programs. Employment opportunities of the future are likely to go to visionary individuals who have a flexible approach to thinking.

To stay inventive as an adult: take advantage of vacations or retirement as an opportunity for liberating your thinking processes so you are ready to pursue a new round of creative endeavors.

Want to know more?
http://www.scientificamerican.com -Why your Brain Needs More Downtime

 

Delilah the Do-Gooder

Delila is delightful once you get past her serious exterior.
Delilah is delightful once you get past her serious exterior.  Acrylic painting  30″ by 24″.

Delilah the Do-Gooder     by Marilynne Eichinger

Managing a museum and running a household have a lot in common. You think you’re in control only to discover that you have more bosses than you care to consider. In a museum, government, bankers and board members are the ultimate bosses, but staff, consultants and even the public also have a say. To the director it seems like everyone knows the best way to do your job and they are not shy about telling you how to develop and market new programs, oversee the budget or supervise your staff. Disgruntled visitors are quick to use social media before contacting you and relish telling others about their dissatisfaction. Success is judged by attendance and the bottom line while being the first to create a blockbuster exhibit becomes a contest among the presidents of sister institutions. With tight budgets directors become timid about taking chances and refrain from bringing critical issues before the public.

In a family, there may be a spouse, partner parent or child who claims to understand you “better than you do yourself.” These relatives consider themselves to be Good Samaritans who are the knowledgeable gurus needed for your survival. My now deceased grandmother offers a perfect example of a well intentioned meddling do-gooder. When I was a teen, Grandma was not shy about sharing her opinions. She would sit in my room while I dressed for a date and tell me tales about the women she knew who ruined their reputation by engaging in pre-marital sex. Though Grandma never addressed the subject directly, through stories she did assertively make her opinions known along with her expectations of “good girl” behavior. She was relentless in her insistence that I pay close attention to her tales. I loved my grandmother and did not want to disappoint her but there are times I look back at her advice and wonder if it led to my eventual divorce.

Do-Gooders tend to be concerned individuals who do not like to witness sadness or incompetence. It is often hard for them to hold back what they perceive to be helpful words and actions because they are sure they know the way to improve your situation. I may be one of those caring people who want to jump into the difficulty and help immediately. I worry that I have a do-gooder gene that is similar to my grandmother’s. Now that my children have families of their own I find it difficult to sit on the sidelines and just watch them unfurl their lives.  I still feel protective and have a strong desire to share my life’s experiences through stories of my own. It is difficult to let go of control and just observe my child as she or he heads towards a pending disaster, especially when from time to time there is a return home for additional support. My husband has a standing joke that says, “when the children reach 60 they are on their own.”

I don’t think parents ever relinquish a sense of responsibility for their own children no matter how old they are. Without realizing what they are doing they often make their point known through a psychological concept known as magical thinking. They wind up using a process that applies unjustified reasons to a relationship between action and outcome. A funny example of magical logic can be found in a bowling ally where bowlers try to control outcome after the ball has been released by making movements with their bodies. It is humorous to watch them use hands and feet in an effort to bewitchingly guide the ball down the ally.

Magical thinking is often employed in subtle ways. When a brother-in-law of mine lost his job his father told him that his prayer group was going to pray for his success. His father made sure to keep his son informed of the group’s weekly intervention asking the Almighty for help. My brother-in-law was reminded regularly that quite a few people were thinking about him and acting on his behalf and that he had better progress towards solving his problem or his father would be disappointed in front of his friends. The psychological effect of the group was powerful and did have some effect in getting my brother-in-law motivated and moving in a useful direction. No one told this young man what to do but the message was clearly communicated that sitting around and feeling sorry for himself was not OK.

There are times when troubled family members become victims of gossip that at first appears to be malicious but may actually be helpful. When caring relatives pay attention to chatter that helps them better understand a dire situation it has a chance eo leading to positive action. Once a family gathers to share ideas about remediation, the group can work together in offering a beneficial intervention. Rather than having ten nagging voices, the relative in need is more likely to accept help that is given from a pool of love and respect.

Over the years I have learned that it is good to take the time to listen well and plan intercessions carefully. A short wait and see period gives me a moment to contemplate an appropriate response. I realize now that those in need of my assistance, want it given freely without strings attached, and though sometimes this is not possible, it does help to understand that the unhappy individual does not want another boss in his already confused life. A person in need does appreciate being heard but utmost tact must be used when giving advice, even if it has been requested.

One approach I’ve employed is to help a troubled friend or relative expand his or her thinking processes in order to become open to new ways of problem solving. In this way, the individual becomes empowered by skills that can used in finding solutions to a difficult situation. However, if there is the slightest hesitation created by this type of conversation then it is best to back off after explaining that you are available when the time is appropriate to continue the discussion. It is only when the individual is ready to hear suggestions that there is a chance of being an effective Do-Gooder.