Social Media provides A MASKED VIEW of Society. Anything goes, lies, bullying, deceits, and meaningless friendships. It is hard to navigate safely, especially for teens.
A few days ago, a teen I’m close to shared a troublesome text from an internet boyfriend. The fifteen-year-old high school sophomore said he was depressed because people were suddenly de-friending him, and he had no idea why. I didn’t know how to advise her other than to be cautious of the people she communicates with online. I am sworn to secrecy with no option to tell her parents about her high-speed wireless love life. And, knowing their reaction, it really isn’t a good option, for they don’t know how to talk to their children about important matters. They respond to problems by screaming, and they might take away the phone for a few days, but afterward, it is life as usual.
The daughter stays up until the early morning hours, playing games and texting friends. She is trapped at home with few opportunities to interact with them in person. She is bored yet addicted to computer games that are mindless. As a friend from afar, I take her on weekly excursions and try to get her to read, but beyond that, there is little I can do.
Her story isn’t unique. In June, the Surgeon General, Dr. VIvek Murthy, sounded the alarm, calling the lack of social connection an American epidemic affecting half the country. He says it is as dangerous as smoking 15 cigarettes a day and asked Congress to take action on labels, reminding parents and adolescents that social media has not been proven safe. Though loneliness is a problem among all ages, it is especially problematic for seniors and teens. He offers four suggestions:
- speak on the phone or in person with friends, don’t rely on texting.
- invite people over to share a meal.
- listen and be present during conversations.
- look for ways to serve others.
Feeling disempowered is a symptom of disconnection from meaningful work, the natural world, good childhood nurturing, status, respect, and hope for a secure future. It results, in part, from economic displacement in the pursuit of profit. I spoke to a business acquaintance this week who was prohibited from taking a sick day despite having the flu. The person is a dedicated employee, working overtime most days. He was understandably angry, and I hope he speaks out. Not only is it unhealthy for the rest of the staff, but it shows disrespect and is an affront to his dignity as a human being.
Adolescence and childhood are critical times in brain development that make youth more vulnerable to harm from Social Media. When used in moderation, social media can be a good thing, yet according to the Surgeon General, there is growing evidence that social media is unhealthy for young people’s mental health. He says, “Children are exposed to harmful content on social media, ranging from violent and sexual content to bullying and harassment. For too many children, social media use compromises their sleep and valuable in-person time with family and friends. We are in the middle of a national youth mental health crisis, and I am concerned that social media is an important driver of that crisis – one that we must urgently address.”
Teens who spend more than three hours per day face double the risk of experiencing depression and anxiety. They’re also more prone to eating disorders, social comparison, and low self-esteem. It compromises sleep and in-person time with family and friends.
He advises parents and caregivers to be open and honest when communicating with youth, suggesting they establish tech-free zones in the house, promote in-person relationships, and teach kids responsible online behavior, asking them to report problematic content and bullying. It is also important to limit time on platforms, block unwanted content, and make sure the young person is careful about sharing personal information.
Listen, don’t lecture, and talk calmly so you gain the child’s trust so they will come to you if there is a problem
like being “defriended.” Teens take rejection so seriously it can lead to anxiety disorders. You can help by acknowledging their feelings. Comfort comes before addressing the issue. Show that you understand and explain that they are not the only ones experiencing such things. When the youth feels secure and less anxious, the next step is reflecting on the situation. The youth may have inadvertently done something wrong or written a text that was taken the wrong way. A communication thought to be private may have been shared with others. The individuals who “unfriended” them may not have been close friends to begin with. Disappointments are a part of life that must be dealt with, and having good communication with the teen will lessen the blow.
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Have you or a loved one experienced a hard time on social media? Please share your thoughts.
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References:
Website U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, (2023) Surgeon General Issues New Advisory About Effects Social Media Use Has on Youth Mental Health, Retrieved from https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/23/surgeon-general-issues-new-advisory-about-effects-social-media-use-has-youth-mental-health.html
Website. (2024)What To do When Your Child Is Upset That They Were “Unfriended.” Moms. Retrieved from https://www.moms.com/help-child-sad-unfriended-social-media/
Corbin, S. & Waters,J. (2023) What the Surgeon General Missed About America’s Loneliness Epidemic. Newsweek. Retrieved from https://www.capita.org/capita-ideas/2023/05/16/what-the-surgeon-general-missed-about-americas-loneliness-epidemic1?
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