Coos Bay – Oregon acrylic on canvas/ 30“ by 40” / $499
Standing in the midst of this gentleness landscape set against moving water was refreshing and invigorating. Nature has a way of saying that there is more to life than work.
Are you a workaholic? What about a playaholic?
When my son was about 15 years old he turned to me and said, you and Dad work too hard. I’m not going to be like you. Life is for having fun. At the time he was just recovering from a life threatening illness, so I didn’t answer him with, “My work is fun!,” though that is what I felt like saying. It was not until years later that he began to realize that he might live to be an old man. Then he had a real conundrum? He had to make something of himself and apply himself. And, he did—but he never forgot how to have fun.
He now has a challenging business, yet finds the time to meet with his large circle of friends on a weekly basis. He works very hard and plays hard. I would never say his is a workaholic, though, I could see it happening. Work, especially for those who own a business, has a way of creeping up on you. There are times when my son is with me when I see that his mind does wander to the multitude of responsibilities he has instead of settling into “be hear now time.”
What is the difference between working hard and being a workaholic? There are clues to look for starting with cell phone use. Addicted people are constantly checking their phones and responding to messages on the spot even when in the company of others. Their work (or play) tasks interrupt social activities. They are the people who would go through withdrawal if their computer was not close-by or the WiFi went down.
We have to be careful, though, not all cell phone responders are workaholics. Edmund Neuhaus, Ph.D., director of the Behavioral Health Partial Hospital Program at McLean Hospital in Belmont, Massachusetts advises that it is important to consider the context of each situation and cautions that there is a big difference between being a workaholic and a person who works hard.
When business or play occupies all your mental and physical time at the exclusion of marriage, family and other relationships you may be verging on addiction. If sitting quietly makes you feel guilty for not being productively engaged, then you could have a problem. If, when no one is paying attention, you try to sneak in a little work, then you may be similar to an alcoholic who hides the bottle from his family. Many have trouble delegating work to others. They are perfectionists who believe they have to do everything themselves or it will not be done right.
Addicted people are often seen turning their hobby into a business. They forget that the hobby was originally selected as a way of relaxing. Play addicts are similar to workaholics in that their every waking moment is consumed in thought or action by the activity. Somewhere along the way, ‘fun-time” stopped being a refreshing break from work. When play adds tension and causes stress to your life, it is important to reevaluate what you are doing and why you are doing it.
Everyone needs some downtime, yet many workaholics resent vacations, even when their work will not be affected. Once that happens, they have likely become full fledged addicts.
“Not good,” says Dr. Neuhaus. Your health can be affected by high-stress activities at work or at play. Burnout, depression, anxiety, psychosomatic symptoms such as headaches and stomachaches and excessive alcohol consumption are frequently the consequences.
Interestingly enough, most workaholics deny their symptoms and do not acknowledge that they have a problem. Unfortunately, in many cases, their denial leads to a heart attack. It is usually family and friends who bring the problem to the workaholic’s attention. It may be done dramatically, such as when a spouse is fed-up with their mate’s long work hours and decides to sever the relationship.
Our culture doesn’t help. The United States is not like Europe where five-week vacations are the norm. Instead, it prizes the work-ethic and overachievement. Bosses reinforce hard work through praise, promotions, bonuses and raises rather than saying, “Good job, why not take time off?”
Play, care of self, exercise and a spiritual life contribute to longevity and a sense of well-being. So—work hard, yes, but be careful and lose the guilt when you are home relaxing with your loved ones. Work has a way of creeping up on you and giving a false sense of what is important to your well-being. Life is rich, varied, and beautiful if you let its many dimensions touch you. This holiday is a time to have fun. Take the stress out of your life. Play to relax and enjoy each moment with family and friends.
References:
http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/are-you-a-workaholic?page=2 – Can workaholism hurt you?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/dont-delay/201003/the-personality-the-workaholic-and-the-issue-self – Psychology Today article about the personality of the workaholic.
SAVE THE DATE: Annie Blooms Books, Multnomah Village, Portland, OR – Talk and signing for Lives of Museum Junkies. The event starts at 7 PM.
