Reluctance to change

Life is about change, but how do you cope when you live or work with someone with ubiquitous resistance? Refusal to change manifests itself in many ways, from foot-dragging and inertia to petty sabotage to outright rebellion. A child, partner or business associate may be entrenched in their ways because of fear or just plain laziness. When you are convinced that change is necessary, what can you do about it? 

The best way to begin is to understand the sources of resistance that are most likely to occur and then strategize around them. Here are a few I’ve found to be the most common.

• Loss of control. Change interferes with autonomy and can make the people feel that they’ve lost control over their territory.
• Excess uncertainty.  People often prefer to remain mired in misery than to head toward an unknown. They want to feel safe and are more comfortable with the status quo.
• Surprise! Decisions imposed suddenly, with no time to get used to the idea or prepare for the consequences, are generally resisted.
• Immersed in habit. Change is meant to bring something different, but how different? We are creatures of habit. Routines become automatic, but change can jar us into consciousness in an uncomfortable way. Often you mind does not believe your goals are worth suffering for. It explains why so many people resist dieting. 
• Loss of face. Change is a departure from the past. People associated with the last version — the one that didn’t work — are often defensive about it. They develop a mindset that predict failure. Failure, though is not guaranteed. Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before inventing the light bulb. He considered all of his failures a success because they led to his invention.
• Competency concerns. Can I do it? Change is resisted when it makes people feel stupid.
• More work.  Change involves work. Acquiring a new skill, mindset or way of behaving is time consuming.
• Ripple effects. Change creates ripples, that disrupt family dynamics and alter relationships. It’s not unusual for family or colleges to push back, rebelling against changes they had nothing to do with yet interfere with their own activities.
• Past resentments. The minute you need cooperation for something new or different, ghosts of the past spring into action. Old wounds reopen, historic resentments are remembered 
• The threat may be real. Actual pain can occur. Household roles may change, activities you once enjoyed may end, and friendships often end with a move. Whether you live more lavishly or fugally can change depending on circumstances around employment. 

Change is likely to be good for you once you figure out why you want to alter your life. Perhaps you want to manage stress level, make more money, buy a new house, live in another state. Making a change requires identifying what you want to do, doing research and analyzing the pros and cons. When your change affects others, leadership is an essential tool for bringing them along with your dream. Leadership begins with confidence in yourself to bring others along.

Diagnosing the source of resistance is the first step toward getting buy-in. Sacrifices and consequences that might impact others have to be considered. People likely to be affected should be invited to express their concerns so a solution can be found that makes them feel more comfortable. They will be better able to cope if their feelings are acknowledged and they understand the dynamics behind the change. 

References:

Kanter, R (2012) Ten Reasons People Resist Change.Harvard Business Review. retrieved from https://hbr.org/2012/09/ten-reasons-people-resist-chang

Griggs, U. (2019) How to Overcome Your Resistance to Change to Live a Better Life. Lifehack. retrieved from  https://www.lifehack.org/822909/resistance-to-change\

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