First Fight
People curse when angry yet use the same words trying to be funny.
“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By Any Other Name would smell as sweet”
By William Shakespeare
When I was a young child, my mother washed my mouth with soap whenever I uttered a curse word. We lived in a lower-class neighborhood, and according to Mom, only lowlife used obscenities. Therefore, I never used profanities, and when I heard others doing so, I thought poorly of them. Those I associate with don’t curse publicly, though they may do so in the privacy of their own homes.
Another lesson learned when first married, was that words slung in anger, become imbedded in the target’s memory. Hurts and stings are difficult to erase and be forgotten. I remember having a discussion about fighting with a psychologist friend who was also newly married. He believed spouses should express anger fully, in every dimension short of hitting. Shouting, cursing and slinging hurtful half-truths was healthy as far as my friend was concerned. I, argued the opposite, believing that words said in anger can’t be taken back. It wasn’t long before he and his wife divorced. Today, an increasing number of people participate in non-violent communication classes to learn ways to argue productively.
I am currently writing my first fictional novel with characters from many walks of life. In my writer’s critique group, members suggest I use expletives in my dialogues to express anger. I find this difficult to do since curse words do not come naturally.
I never understood why audiences laugh when comedians say fuck or shit. To me it seems like a cheep excuse for a joke by performers who do not know how to laugh cleverly at life’s foibles.
Children say “naughty” words as a way of showing their friends that they know something they aren’t supposed know. They find it fun to fool their parents, a feeling that stays with them into adulthood. And so, as they age, they continue to react as youngsters who laugh bathroom jokes and forbidden language. Laughter disguises their embarrassment with natural bodily functions.
Over the centuries, thousands of words have been coined to disguise body parts and functions considered private. Following are a few of the hundreds of words that disguise penis, vagina, buttocks, and where babies come from.
Penis —Doodle, Spindle, Fiddle, Pin, Bollocks, Knick-Knack, Child-getter, Bayonet, Cracksman, Cuckoo, Bush-whacker, Majesty, Charmer, Tickle-Faggot, Dingle, Cob, Pencil, Hot member, Nightstick, Joystick, Dingbat, Tiny Tim, Jurassic Pork, Dora the explorer, Tuna torpedo, Cave hunter, Woody Womb Pecker.
Vagina —Cunt, Pussy, Twat, Clit, House, Casse, Pie-corner, Porridge, Coffer, Mrs. Fubbs’ parlor, Thatched cottage, Lady’s low toupee, Nature’s treasury, Nub, Canal, Her essence, Slit, Wet curls, Scabbard, Mons, Sheath, Sperm bottle, Goop chute, Cookie, Penis glove, Muff, Fish Lips, Beaver, Kitty, Pink panther, Banana basket, Coin purse, Hot pocket, Funny Furnace, Golden Palace, Holiest of holies.
Buttocks —Bottom, Behind, Butt, Booty, Fanny keister, Tush, Tail, Buns, Caboose, Posterior, Sit-upon, Steam bum, Arse, Duff, Heinie, Ass, Prat.
Ever wonder where babies come from? They come from places I never thought possible.
a) Babies are made when mommies and daddies have too much love. When it overflows, God gives the family a baby to love.
b) We wanted a baby so mommy grew one in her belly.
c) Babies grows in the mom’s bellybutton and the doctor cuts the baby out.
d) When two people love each other the dad buys a pumpkin seed and gives it to the mom. Then her stomach gets big like a pumpkin.
e) The doctor brings the baby to the front door.
f) Babies come from apple seeds.
g) Babies come when mommies and daddies kiss for a very, very long time.
h) Babies come from eggs that pop out of a mommy’s butt.
It’s difficult not to laugh at some of these answers and think them “cute.” Yet, it is not a good idea to lead children astray with false answers. A truthful straightforward response, is the healthier way to go.
Children need to know the correct names of body parts. An abused child should be able to explain accurately what happened to a trusted adult. Children who use pet names can confuse medical care givers. They are less credible witnesses when justice is pursued through the courts. A child who says, “Stop! Don’t touch my vagina!” signals to a potential abuser that he or she is empowered with body safety knowledge. Pedophiles are wary of children who use anatomical names because they know that their parents will not dismiss a touch to private parts as harmless fun.
Speaking openly and accurately about the body, teaches children they have ownership over it. Knowledge provides a positive boost to self image, increases confidence, and demonstrates that parents are trustworthy, easily approachable sources of information about sensitive issues. When a child who knows anatomically correct names, suddenly starts using pet terms, it becomes a red flag causing adults to investigate.
Today’s parenting classes, child development books, and pediatricians encourage parents to teach anatomically correct words to their children. The practice is so wide spread that according to several classroom teachers I know, children no laugh when they’re used. Honest language, along with anti-bullying and non-violent communication programs in schools discourage use of foul language. They promote effective ways of disagreeing that hopefully will impact their generation. I imagine comedians of the future are going to have to come up with novel ways , other than cursing to get a laugh from their audiences.
References:
A Rose by any Other Tame. (43-44, Act-II, Scene-II of Romeo and Juliet). Literary Devices. retrieved from https://literarydevices.net/a-rose-by-any-other-name/
Body Parts: Find Nicknames : https://www.findnicknames.com/blog/nicknames-for-body-parts/
Sanders, J (2017)Eight Reasons Not to Cally Your CHild’s Genitals ‘Pet’ Names. Huffpost.com, retrieved from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/8-reasons-not-to-call-your-childs-genitals-pet-names_b_58743186e4b0eb9e49bfbec3
Art Work is always for sale. Contact me at Marilynne@eichingerfineart.com.
The Fight : Acrylic on canvas/ 36” x 25”/ $ 325
